In a quiet suburban neighborhood where minivans outnumber streetlights, a group of women have been ingeniously disguising their love of wine as a book club. While their intentions may be transparent to everyone else, these winos insist that their guise is a stroke of genius. “It’s a sophisticated literary club that explores classic as well contemporary novels, okay? We don’t have a wine problem. We can stop anytime we want!” said club president, Charlotte Chardonnay, as she poured herself another glass of Merlot. “We appreciate literature just as much as we appreciate a glass of wine filled to the brim. Why not combine the two?”
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Is day drinking slowly but surely becoming a problem? On tinder, wine seems to be the most important thing for most women i see. Or at least in the top 3. A lot of women have like 4 pictures and holding wine in three of them. A lot can not comprehend that i never drink at all.
Between all the crises threatening civilization, I’d say the only problem is if the wine runs out.
If anything, it’s an unaddressed symptom of suburban life since long before either of us were born. My aunt, for instance, went full trad wife in the 90s and her schedule is mostly morning jog, wine, TV, wine, fight with her husband, wine, bed. Must be a bottle a day at least.
I heard in the 50s it was even worse with valium abuse but rather than call it a problem, I think symptom is more apt since life isn’t very rewarding or exciting when you’re trapped in suburbia and chained to your husband.
Hey at least in the fictional world of the onion, these women are drinking together and not alone.
I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. Alcoholics in denial skyrocketed during the pandemic, only with a cutesy veneer of “wine moms” and the like.
I don’t know where you get that this is a suburban thing, alcoholism in the US was more rampant in the 19th and very early 20th century than it has been since. You might read up on Prohibition
A lot less women drank back then from what I understand (and similarly it was women that led the movement against alcohol). Even in the mid to late 20th century the gender bias was toward men, but it’s pretty close to 50/50 in this century.
Whether suburbia independently increased alcohol consumption amongst women is another question, and so you’d need to compare drinking levels between different locations.
It’s only a problem when I run out 🤪 (or the neighbors dogs over (again))
guilty as charged 😐
Your sentence consists of bringing a higher-than-usually priced bottle of wine from the top shelf on the next occasion. This post is legally binding and enforceable.
Women wistfully holding glasses of wine together. So hot right now
Ai gen art
For sure, I couldn’t find a free stock photo that matched what I wanted so I went with Bing Creator and I thought this looked nice.
You could have paid someone to make one for you or just picked a different image to use. At absolute minimum you could have cited that it’s AI instead of letting people believe it’s an artist’s work.
It looks generic and junky, I could tell it was AI from one glance, before I even noticed all the errors.
Because now I’m also wondering what else on the site is AI and how much of your writing potentially is. And that makes me less likely to want to visit.
I run this website on my own as a side project between being a father and a full time time job. It loses money every month so I’m not paying someone to create custom art for every article. If an AI image bothers you, you can are free to downvote but fyi AI stuff is everywhere so you’re going to have a hard time avoiding it.
Some people just love to hate. Appreciate your effort!
Thank you! Means a lot
Oh please shut the fuck up
right, so you’re volunteering to pay for the commission then?
Yep. I got a very similar result using almost the exact title as the prompt.
Oh no! I’m found out!😆
Why not both?
boomer humor with a millennial after taste
??
