I hate Easter. Pretty much always have and I think I always will. Let’s all freak out about Jesus pulling a hat trick. Well guess what folks, zombies aren’t real so Jesus didn’t pop out of a tomb after three days. Sorry for the spoiler.

But my biggest issue with it is the religious fanatics. Like people seem to lose their minds over the Jesus shit. This guy for example wants to rearrange an entire baseball schedule. My in laws are going to cram 25 people into a house that can’t fit more than 10. All because of Zombie Jesus. Thank you Zombie Jesus for ruining my spring every year, asshat.