STOP PULLING MYSTERIOUSLY WELL PRESERVED WEAPONS OUT OF TOMBS
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HAVEN’T THESE PEOPLE EVER READ A BOOK FOR FUCKS SAKES
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STOP FUCKING AROUND. STILL WANT TO FIND OUT, FOR A LAUGH? THERE’S ALREADY A WAY TO DO THAT, IT’S CALLED WAKING UP IN THE 20s.
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THOUSANDS OF CURSED SWORDS REMOVED FROM GRAVES TO DATE AND NOT ONE USE FOUND FOR THE HORRORS THEY UNLEASHED
“Yes, hello, there’s surely a reasonable, non-magic explanation for how this sword is as spotless as the day everyone buried it under a giant boulder with its wielder in an unmarked hole. It’s completely fine for swords to whisper about things forgotten and not yet known.” -STATEMENTS DREAMED UP BY THE UTTERLY DERANGED
HAVEN’T THESE PEOPLE EVER READ A BOOK FOR FUCKS SAKES
Uhh, yeah, and that’s how they know that the best magic swords are in tombs. Where else would you go looking for them?
They’re the baddies that folks like Indiana Jones and Laura Croft stop.
But maybe the next one will be the one that makes me Emperor of Carpathia!
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maybe this can help us resolve the ongoing issues we’ve been having since we opened the ominous black granite sarcophagus.
