Techniques and products and behaviors that work well on straight hair can be disasterous for curly hair.

The thinning that hairdressers do can sometimes damage the hair and make it more frizzy. Ideally, you want each chunk of group of hair to end at the same length, so they can form a lock. So for example, I let the damaged broken hair grow out, make sure my nutrition is good so I’m growing good hair, and then asked for a couple of simple layers to cut it off and bring all the ends mostly even with each other. No texturing. Long hair is compatible with curls. Don’t go for short haircuts.

Silky is achievable. Silky is a goal. Set your sights on silky. It takes technique and skill and time, but is worthwhile to persue. It can be a sign that your health and diet is right.

Pay attention to what breaks the hair (making the ends uneven): aggressive dry brushing, certain uncovered elastic bands that are too tight, etc. These damaging things are forbidden.

Quick instructions for a fast result:

Comb out gently with wide toothed comb when hair is wet and well lubricated with conditioner. Dont towel dry, but gently squeeze out the water with your fist or a twist. Try not to disrupt the grouping of the hair. Allow to dry but not completely, until still damp. Add a product that’s meant for curly hair with a bit of hold. (Put an appropriate amount in palm, rub your hands together and run your fingers with product through the hair to spread it out) Twist a chunk around your finger and pull downward/outwards to lock. Not a tedious process, you can do large chunks at a time. Air dry or gentle blow drying with a diffuser attachment if you’re in a rush. Or just put it in a t-shirt turban and go to bed.

It’s addictive. Soon you’ll be buying satin pillowcases. ;)

Edit: holy f’ing shit ignore the f’er that’s telling you to clip off your hair entirely. That’s the wrong advice. Don’t do it man. Your hair is good. It takes years for some people to get it that long.

My hair looked a lot like that when I used to brush it. When you say it is thick - thick individual hairs, not just many hairs, correct? That’s my hair too. I urge you to put down the brush. I used to brush my hair because it tangled so much, all these ladies on the old naturallycurly board used to tell me not to brush my hair. I thought they were crazy, or just had different hair. But once I had a crop of never brushed hair, it was so much smoother (still not soft, it’s not a soft hair type, but it’s smooth and strong. It is not so dry either). I use my fingers and a wide tooth comb to detangle for 15 years now. And never did I ever suspect it was damaged before, never a split end, never any obvious sign of damage even really long but the roughness and tangling was from micro damage. I thought my hair TYPE was tangly, understand? But now I can detangle while shampooing. That change just from never brushing.

Haircut sort of depends on your goals for looks, and how much you are willing to do to style & maintain it. Without seeing your face, I think probably leave it long, just clean up the ends and maybe some layers only at the bottom edge. But if you are willing to restyle each day, short haircut with curls on top would look modern and classic and easier to keep short hair healthy. Much maintenance in haircuts though.

Since I think our underlying hair type is similar, I am going to make a specific product and technique recommendation my stylist taught me. Innersense Hydrating Cream Conditioner, and lots of water. Section your very wet, clean hair by splitting horizontally to leave just the nape hair out, take a pump of the conditioner and rake it through that bottom hair until it feels smooth and organized, add water as needed to keep it really wet. Repeat, moving upward, at the end you will have conditioned, smooth hair. At this point if there is too much conditioner in there I section the hair again, grabbing the ends in my hand, scrunched, rinsing briefly only at the roots. “Too much” takes experience to figure out, but if your hair is resistant like mine you want conditioner on it, to dry into it, to add pliability and moisture - if you rinse too much you will lose it all. But all that water makes a difference too. I used to remove excess water and use only leave in, this (admittedly fussier) half rinsing business has improved my hair, and that Innersense conditioner - not their whole line - is absolutely magic in a bottle.

Good luck and you aren’t starting from a bad place, it looks pretty good, I agree it can look even better.

ETA - be really careful about ‘thinning’ the hair. Strategic thinning with regular shears can work. Thinning shears in curly hair will cause frizz and heartbreak. Never let them use thinning shears and be very wary of the razor as well - that’s not an absolute no but most stylists don’t know how to use them in curly hair. You need your “clumps” pretty intact to get defined curls. Oh, and no, I regret to inform you that running your fingers through dry curly hair will always cause frizz. Mine is wound much looser and NO I cannot run my fingers through without the style going to shit.

Here are a few additional photos: one of the top of my head to see the texture better; one of an individual hair to see an example of my curl type; and a head shot.