“My religion says I can’t get my kids vaccinated.”

“Fuck off.”

They knew Trump was a scumbag back when they made Back to the Future 2! You think this…

…was a coincidence?!

I find myself wondering if it would have been practical to replicate a viable coffee plant seed from a recorded coffee genome, and then grow coffee beans directly in the ship’s arboretum (assuming for the sake of argument they had one, or could construct one).

But then you’re into how difficult it is to replicate viable coffee growing conditions onboard a ship, and it might not even be more efficient than direct replication anyway.

“This house is less likely to shoot back than the house we were actually called to.”

In fairness, heroin does relieve the symptoms of heroin withdrawal.

Fun bar trivia fact: ELO is the band with the greatest number of top ten hits without ever having had a number one hit.

Like a Tide Pod, but spherical, and arguably even more dangerous to eat!

Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist

Erasure - Victim of Love

ELO - Jungle

Black Sugar - Viajecito

Solomon Burke - Cry To Me

Googoosh - Talagh

The real trial is being this guy when other people decide they’re going to start a fire and by the time you get there they’ve done it all wrong and the thing is smouldering and coughing up smoke and barely staying lit at all as they cram handfuls of pine needles and barely dry leaves into places while there’s a full-ass log precariously balanced on top of it all and they’re saying things like “Maybe we should pour a little lamp oil on top of it?”

And then you have to be the adult and take over the whole operation.

That’s the one!

I swear that one of the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not museums is like this.

Beauty and the Beast, Old And New by Terri Windling

I wonder if “red sun lamps temporarily remove Superman’s powers” was a thing yet when Niven wrote that essay.

Beauty and the Beast was written to introduce young brides to the idea that marrying a gross, hairy, large creature might not be all that bad, and that you might even find things to like about your monster husband and fall in love with him.

Why, you’d have to do it all sneaky-like. Like, have a trusted accomplice take her out in the woods and kill her. Of course, you’d want evidence to be sure, so you’d ask the accomplice to bring you back some essential internal organ, to confirm the kill.

DON’T GET IN THE KILN!

And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.