Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian

The car did not end up hitting and killing me

Liar

I got attacked by herding dogs while hiking. I have a phobia of dogs but also had pepper spray and a taser on me. I surprised myself by not shitting my pants and instead making noise with the very loud taser until their lazy-ass owner came to bring them back to the herd they abandoned to fuck with me

Gives a whole new meaning to “unclogging those pipes”

Well… I don’t know about the rest of you guys but I’ve just uncovered a new fantasy

He’s not asleep. He’s telepathic

Oh, cool. Do you also go to hell in the winter to escape the cold? I go every year

Wait until you hear about the booby traps

I’m loving this

Maybe they were just fans of poo

I’m only realizing now how Green Day got a bunch of people to say “I love dookie” with a straight face. Fucking. Hilarious.

See? Stop judging kids who wear Nirvana t-shirts without knowing it’s a band

We’re all guilty

I find “tear it all down” people hilarious. Like… yea, ok, we’ll tear it all down. And who’s gonna rebuild after? You and your keyboard?

I’m guessing since they’re reminiscent of the 90s, maybe Yellow Pages?

Awww, look at the cute little vampires. How you doin’ little buddy? Aww, come here, little buddy-OW, SON OF A BITCH HE BIT ME

Nope. Not me

“Grandpa goes around and does his business in public, cause grandpa isn’t shady” lol

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qDr9axb7X7E&pp=ygUicmljayBhbmQgbW9ydHkga3JvbWJvcHVsb3MgbWljaGFlbA%3D%3D

(No but jokes aside I do use Firefox though)

Nice try, Father Patterson. We know what you did

Thank you for sharing, Nutbutter

Would anyone else in the group like to talk today?

It’s not far-left because it does not restrict a citizen’s own right to run a for-profit grocery store. She only wants the state to run its own grocery stores. I hope I’m wording this right.

Oh, snap! She had it up her sleeve all along!