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Source: ace-disgrace-on-the-case on tumblr
There’s something so uniquely terrifying about memory issues. I feel like my self is slipping away from me.
ace-disgrace-on-the-case - Here’s the thing I feel like a lot of folks don’t get: I’m not trying to forget what you said. Honestly, I really tried not to. I can’t control what I do and don’t remember—forgetting things just happens. It’s annoying for you, I know, but for me it’s distressing as hell and when you make a big deal out of it rather than just reminding me you make me feel ashamed. I’ll remember that, at least.
It costs you nothing to be kind to people with memory problems. Please. It’s scary enough without people treating memory lapses as a personal failing.
Before my ADHD diagnosis I went crazy when I forgot something and someone asked me “why?” Well, actually I still do but at least I have an explanation.
what do you mean “why”? do people forget on purpose? I know it was important, it was also important to me.
Knowing why has been a huge thing for me. It really helps to avoid spiralling into internalised ableism. It’s still something I struggle with, and I imagine I’ll never be free of having to work at not beating myself up, but I’ve found that it’s a skill.
And this isn’t just useful in a self-compassion respect either, but also pragmatically — if I beat myself up for forgetting something, or for not writing something important down etc., it almost always makes the whole problem worse (likely due to the fact that I’m more likely to mess up if I’m stressed, so more stress is not helpful)