I have a relative who I don’t want to cut off, but it’s obvious they need me more than I need them and it’s exhausting. They want me to drop everything and spend time with them at a moment’s notice, usually eating out which is super expensive, and they constantly have mental health crises and text me that they “need” me.
I can say no to them, that’s not the problem, but they haven’t gotten the hint and are just as clingy years after years of it. It’s really unhealthy for me to be their only friend when I don’t feel the same way. Is there any way to encourage them to expand their social life without sounding like a dick? I have no social grace and sound like a dick a lot.
They probably know a lot of this.
They may not know it’s a problem, or if they do know, then they probably don’t know what to do about it.
So that’s how I’d go about this. Rather than saying they need to expand their support network, I’d ask them what stops them from expanding their range of friends, support and opportunities for connection?
Means you’re not pressuring them or saying you know what they need better than they do. It’s asking about them, what they think and feel.
This sounds like a good way to approach it, thank you.