I go to Lemmy to escape the depression and the depression has followed me here, marvelous
You should block this community. Depression posting is kinda what it’s for.
Wait until there’s a 2me4me_irl.
There is. It pops up sometimes for me. Sometimes funny and relatable, sometimes depressing and relatable, sometimes WTF… And relatable.
Just like real life, somehow
My version - I need to constantly remind those around me that I am helpful and provide services or they’ll forget I exist.
No joke, that’s what my life has taught me. People don’t hate me, but if I stop gently reminding them I exist, then they’ll forget me. It’s happened many, many times. I’ve come to accept that I’m not inherently likable.
Fuck that’s so relatable, I hate it. I can’t keep track of the number of
friendsfriendships I’ve had just evaporate the moment I stop texting first.Edit: lol
God I’m having issues with that right now. I don’t make friends or anything like that. I’m not good with people. But I had met someone who would repeatedly call me their friend. They moved away but said we could still be friends and everything but it was all a lie. They never really liked me and never text me or anything. They repeatedly told me when they were going to be in town, but didn’t end up wanting to hang out when they were here. I told them how upset I was at turning 30 when I had saw them but they flat out forgot it was my birthday and never said anything despite me texting them happy birthday a week prior.
It just sucks, man. I know it’s stupid for me to be this upset about something so dumb. But I don’t make friends easily and no one calls me their friend. So when it all ends up to be a lie then I just have the hardest time getting over it.
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Definitely not true.
But the issue here is so deep that it is hard to explain.
First, obviously, if someone doesn’t care to give back that relationship isn’t worth your time anyway. But you probably know.
Second, when you are there for others but not entirely there from your own base of security, it is received as a temporary interaction, no matter if it is a pleasant or “profitable” interaction
Third, when you get back from a relationship, when they freely give to you, you probably can not fully identify that it has happened, and when you prompt yourself constantly for if you get enough you don’t have proof. So to expand on this one, you need to be super conscious about if it just feels like you are forgotten but in reality you have been appreciated and praised but it slipped off you.
You will never receive enough energy attention and love by struggling for it. This is because you never control others, and if you manage to do that, it will be truly just sabotaging any possible real unconditional friendship or love.
You can just give from your side, be so secure in yourself that you have the ability to evaluate objectively if you want to have the relationship if it doesn’t really give you joy in life
Imposter syndrome isn’t real, you made it up because you are crazy. Just like you made up gaslighting.
Well, you didn’t make up gaslighting. Someone else did and you just stole it.
Because you are crazy
who did you hurt?
There is an elephant in thailand and would be found similar on many places who draws self potraits and simple images
Does he also have imposter syndrome?
You are worth of love red triangle dude. We don’t always get what we are worth of though
I don’t suffer from this, but man do I feel like a red crying blob on the inside.
The best advise I heard is you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Do whatever you want to do which you enjoy, as long as you’re not hurting anyone in the process. Do something because you enjoy doing it and you’re not expecting validation.
My mom praised me up and down for being naturally smart. Whenever I made a serious effort on something, she found a reason to punish me.
and yet nobody gives a crap. I’m currently trying to do some art just for myself, but there’s still that annoying urge to show it to someone, hoping for a shred of validation.
That’s why it’s good to find someone else who also wants to share their stuff.
Yeah, it may feel like work at first, but after a while you gain a kind of appreciation for each other’s stuff, and then genuine interest takes hold and you start to look forward to what your friend(s) are going to share.
This is precisely what my book club has turned into. We haven’t read a book in over a year lol
I kinda had someone like that for a little bit, it’s why I started doing some art stuff. too bad they just kinda vanished without a word after weeks of telling me how great of a friend I am.
Yeah that can happen. It’s real work on both sides to maintain a relationship like that, and in my experience it usually doesn’t work out forever. It’s still worth it for the while that it does work, though.
Probably best to move on and find a new such person.
What kind of stuff do you make?
it’s sucked because noone ever seem to be this interested in me, but whatever.
Tbh I’m a total newbie at art. I’ve been trying to draw and play the piano for many years but I usually just give up after a couple of weeks of trying, so I’m not good at neither.
I kinda got into Vrchat last year and ended up spending two and a half months making an avatar from scratch.
I’ve recently started a character drawing course on Udemy so I can make my own reference art for 3D modeling. It’s gonna take a while but I’m just trying to enjoy the process.
Oh nice! So you made like a 3D avatar? Closest I’ve come to that is getting really detailed with character creation in games, but I get how it’s fun to design a character.
I’m a lifelong doodler, but never seem to be able to stick to courses. I just kind of take little pieces from each as a bumble along.
RE interest yeah I’ll admit to not being very interested in anyone else’s progress other than my own, but it’s nice to get some “check ins” from time to time, like how a course is going or whatever.
You gotta get good at something because the resulting confidence will help a lot.
Foreword: I’m not being combative, just analytical.
This line of thinking perpetuates the problem. The point is to get good because you, personally, want to get good and derive satisfaction from competence ‘in a vacuum.’ If you seek competence for the sake of its artificially associated value (i.e. productive member of society, validation, etc.), then you’re basically locking yourself into unrelenting standards.
I get good because it feels awesome. IDGAF about others standards or what they want me to provide them.
