somehow my lesbian awareness predated my awareness of myself as a woman 😄 (ok, I hear how that sounds impossible, but I think through repression many such contradictions can come about)
I remember telling my boss (who insisted I was a gay man) that I’m really not gay in the way she thinks because I’m barely interested in men, but I am gay in a different sense because I like women, and that I feel like a lesbian on the inside … my boss was a lesbian and had a wife, and when I asked her if what I was saying made any sense, I remember she sighed, shook her head, and quietly said “no” 💀
but for some reason it was easier for me to feel connected to or own up to a sapphic identity than permit myself the natural conclusion of what this must mean 🙃
I always remember the south park episode where they get a hot lesbian teacher and all try to become lesbians. Cartman says " my grandfather was a lesbian, so that makes me a quarter lesbian". I take pride in knowing my own grandchildren will be able to use that line.
tbf, I’m not fully a lesbian, only primarily sapphic. I do relate to not thinking my “straight” attraction was straight, but when I was coming to terms with my gender identity, my sexual orientation was the last thing on my mind.
oh, I’m the same as you - I keep forgetting I am not supposed to call myself a lesbian (hard when I’m married to a woman and primarily sapphic, admittedly I think of myself as mostly a lesbian, even if I’m really bi).
I guess I also wasn’t thinking about my orientation much because I was bi, it sorta felt incidental to my gender tbh. It’s just interesting it was always those probes into my sexuality that caused me discomfort with my gender. Being perceived as a gay man really bothered me because it reified me as a man, which felt wrong, and so maybe that’s why my sense of being a gay woman was bubbling up in those moments.
When I discovered I was a woman
somehow my lesbian awareness predated my awareness of myself as a woman 😄 (ok, I hear how that sounds impossible, but I think through repression many such contradictions can come about)
I remember telling my boss (who insisted I was a gay man) that I’m really not gay in the way she thinks because I’m barely interested in men, but I am gay in a different sense because I like women, and that I feel like a lesbian on the inside … my boss was a lesbian and had a wife, and when I asked her if what I was saying made any sense, I remember she sighed, shook her head, and quietly said “no” 💀
but for some reason it was easier for me to feel connected to or own up to a sapphic identity than permit myself the natural conclusion of what this must mean 🙃
I always remember the south park episode where they get a hot lesbian teacher and all try to become lesbians. Cartman says " my grandfather was a lesbian, so that makes me a quarter lesbian". I take pride in knowing my own grandchildren will be able to use that line.
tbf, I’m not fully a lesbian, only primarily sapphic. I do relate to not thinking my “straight” attraction was straight, but when I was coming to terms with my gender identity, my sexual orientation was the last thing on my mind.
oh, I’m the same as you - I keep forgetting I am not supposed to call myself a lesbian (hard when I’m married to a woman and primarily sapphic, admittedly I think of myself as mostly a lesbian, even if I’m really bi).
I guess I also wasn’t thinking about my orientation much because I was bi, it sorta felt incidental to my gender tbh. It’s just interesting it was always those probes into my sexuality that caused me discomfort with my gender. Being perceived as a gay man really bothered me because it reified me as a man, which felt wrong, and so maybe that’s why my sense of being a gay woman was bubbling up in those moments.