Again, I don’t disagree with you. However, where is it said that this is specifically what they mean? I feel like we must be reading something different.
especially when i was younger, but sometimes still nowadays, one of us would sometimes have a really bad day for a really inane reason that seemed like the world at the time, and learning to communicate that is difficult. especially with autism and dissociative identity disorder. sometimes memories aren’t available, sometimes it’s difficult to talk about. sometimes the partner did something by accident that upset the entire day. sometimes the bad thing is that your partner ate all your ice cream in the freezer and you really wanted some mango ice cream, except it was just a dream. what the hell. when you’re emotionally charged, things just get more difficult. nonviolent communication can be a great tool, but it requires some amount of emotional availability and fluency and patience that takes effort to build up over years. talking through can take hours and days and weeks even now. nowadays it’s mostly automatic that we talk about everything, but in the beginning exuding a bad day was natural for me because i grew up in a dysfunctional family, and my partner also had to learn a lot. a therapist helped a ton, though of course therapists vary wildly in quality, suitability and of course price depending on the region. i think people can change a lot too. there’s always some variability with people.
I completely agree that people can change and grow out of unhealthy coping methods. It’s very understandable how people get to that point! I’m sorry you had a rough go initially, but that’s awesome that it’s better now.
Exuding a bad mood until your partner is forced to ask you why you’re acting that way isn’t healthy in my opinion.
You’re allowed to have different opinions.
Again, I don’t disagree with you. However, where is it said that this is specifically what they mean? I feel like we must be reading something different.
It depends on how you read OP acting differently when they’re in a presumably bad mood.
To me, it depends on whether you plan on having a good faith interpretation of what they said or not.
especially when i was younger, but sometimes still nowadays, one of us would sometimes have a really bad day for a really inane reason that seemed like the world at the time, and learning to communicate that is difficult. especially with autism and dissociative identity disorder. sometimes memories aren’t available, sometimes it’s difficult to talk about. sometimes the partner did something by accident that upset the entire day. sometimes the bad thing is that your partner ate all your ice cream in the freezer and you really wanted some mango ice cream, except it was just a dream. what the hell. when you’re emotionally charged, things just get more difficult. nonviolent communication can be a great tool, but it requires some amount of emotional availability and fluency and patience that takes effort to build up over years. talking through can take hours and days and weeks even now. nowadays it’s mostly automatic that we talk about everything, but in the beginning exuding a bad day was natural for me because i grew up in a dysfunctional family, and my partner also had to learn a lot. a therapist helped a ton, though of course therapists vary wildly in quality, suitability and of course price depending on the region. i think people can change a lot too. there’s always some variability with people.
I completely agree that people can change and grow out of unhealthy coping methods. It’s very understandable how people get to that point! I’m sorry you had a rough go initially, but that’s awesome that it’s better now.
i just wanted to humanize having an unnecessarily bad day. it’s not that bad, and it can change.