when i read books, make an effort to train my feed, talk to my friends who i know will be polite, dont click on videos that seem off etc. i feel like im lying to myself about reality and guarding myself from the ”real” honesty of some crude places on the internet. i also feel like monitoring what malicious comments say is just checking out the new social norms and that if i dont see what they say i will step out of line socially and do something embarassing. it just feels a bit humiliating and pathetic. when i do something innocuous its like i have a very evil comment section in my head saying very mean things. realistically i know that the title isnt true but i wonder if anybody feels the same.
Have you looked into Morality OCD? This sounds similar to a friend I know.
But to answer your question. Human nature is always more complicated then people want to give it credit. It is not good but it is not bad either. It can and has done both. Sometimes at the same time. Just because you don’t want to look at the worst of human nature doesn’t mean you are lying to yourself.