I am a doorman for a highrise full of wealthy people. Pretty regularly someone reports a “suspicious” person near the bus stop. Every single time it is just a black person waiting for a bus. No matter how polite and proper they may seem, the wealthy are all scum.
I’ve leaned away from being polite using the magic words and rituals of interaction they teach us in elementary school. And think about how upset it makes older generations when the young say things like “no problem.” We do things for others because we want to, and when they show appreciation we let then know we did it out of a shared sense of humanity. And the older folks hate that. They prefer “you’re welcome” because
That’s what they grew up with as the ritual
The implied dynamic is “you are welcome to my help” which is very different from “I was happy to help” or “it was the least I could do” or “I did it out of a sense of shared humanity.” They want to have their entitlement to our help affirmed.
So yeah. Don’t be polite for the sake of being polite. Don’t be rude for the sake of being rude. Be kind for the sake of a shared human experience. And tell people who don’t participate in a revolution of empathy they can fuck right off
I’ve been thrown the last year or so when I say “thank you” to someone doing their job (server, cashier, etc.) if they are younger Gen Z, they say “Of course!” with a kind of shocked look that makes me question if saying “thank you” was somehow inappropriate on my part and I feel like Grandpa Simpson. I’m 40.
They’re not used to people your age and older thanking them. For much as the older folks out there demand we say please and thank you, they don’t say it to service workers because they don’t see them as people. I know from my own experience being surrounded by service workers
I watched a documentation about police (EU) some months ago. They were called because supposedly there were “foreigners” causing trouble. They arrived and tried to figure out what the deal was but they were very confused. So the “troublemakers” were friendly and cooperative and the old man who called the police wanted the others gone. Police quickly realized who the actual problem was but the guy was having none of it. He even escalated and was even taken into custody if I recall correctly.
Not sure where the hell I was going with this story but your story reminded me of it. Something about suspicion I guess?
I am a doorman for a highrise full of wealthy people. Pretty regularly someone reports a “suspicious” person near the bus stop. Every single time it is just a black person waiting for a bus. No matter how polite and proper they may seem, the wealthy are all scum.
We should see politeness as offensive like the French did
I’ve leaned away from being polite using the magic words and rituals of interaction they teach us in elementary school. And think about how upset it makes older generations when the young say things like “no problem.” We do things for others because we want to, and when they show appreciation we let then know we did it out of a shared sense of humanity. And the older folks hate that. They prefer “you’re welcome” because
So yeah. Don’t be polite for the sake of being polite. Don’t be rude for the sake of being rude. Be kind for the sake of a shared human experience. And tell people who don’t participate in a revolution of empathy they can fuck right off
I’ve been thrown the last year or so when I say “thank you” to someone doing their job (server, cashier, etc.) if they are younger Gen Z, they say “Of course!” with a kind of shocked look that makes me question if saying “thank you” was somehow inappropriate on my part and I feel like Grandpa Simpson. I’m 40.
They’re not used to people your age and older thanking them. For much as the older folks out there demand we say please and thank you, they don’t say it to service workers because they don’t see them as people. I know from my own experience being surrounded by service workers
Because it is. Ever have someone say “thank you” when what they really mean is “I’m done with you, get away from me.”
I watched a documentation about police (EU) some months ago. They were called because supposedly there were “foreigners” causing trouble. They arrived and tried to figure out what the deal was but they were very confused. So the “troublemakers” were friendly and cooperative and the old man who called the police wanted the others gone. Police quickly realized who the actual problem was but the guy was having none of it. He even escalated and was even taken into custody if I recall correctly.
Not sure where the hell I was going with this story but your story reminded me of it. Something about suspicion I guess?