[Logo containing a smiling cow in a giant pasture goes here]
Menu
- Happy burger: Hand-crafted half-pound burger using free-range, grass-fed beef.
- Chicken burger: Lovingly-made chicken patties, sustainably-sourced from a queer, wxmxn-exploited ranch in the Amazon rainforest.
- Veggie burger: Impossible patty that has been drenched in cheese. All patties have been soaked overnight in milk and fried with happy-caged eggs.
- Fries: Fried with pure beef tallow and lard
- Ton of CO2: Because we care about the environment, we will let you release a ton of CO2 into the atmosphere. Don’t worry, we buy carbon offsets!
Vegan menu
- Side of extra pickles
- Soda (vegan optional)
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Uh YEAH RIGHT there is no way that cow is happy. It probably had to eat vegetables its whole life and everyone knows you can’t be happy eating VEGAN food.