Granted, your free healthcare system is homeopathic and your surgeon general is Gwynneth Paltrow. But it’s completely free!

Granted. You blink, and when you open your eyes you’re in Germany. You’re a full German citizen. You own a lovely flat in Munich. Your phone is full of contacts - people and family and friends throughout Germany. You have a German driver’s license, you have a job at a German company, and your bank account is filled with Euros.

You speak no German.