#Acronyms and RBN Terminology#

##A

ACoN - Adult Child of Narcissist(s)

##B

BIL - Brother-In-Law

BD - Bipolar Disorder

BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder

##D

DAE - Does/Did Anyone Else

DARVO - Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. Common tactics used by abusers. More info here and here.

DoNF - Daughter of Narcissistic Father

DoNM - Daughter of Narcissistic Mother

##E

Edad/Emom - Enabler dad/enabler mom

Egg Donor - Alternate name for abusive/narcissistic mother

Extinction burst - Activity, usually frantic, before someone gives up on an unrewarded behavior.

##F

FLEAS - Frightening Lasting Effects of Abuse. What are FLEAS?

FM - Flying Monkey - This is a term that most likely was inspired by “This Wizard of Oz” (as in, the Wicked Witch’s Flying Monkeys). When we talk about them in the sub, we are discussing people, family, friends, etc. that are working on behalf of our abusers in order to get information (to pass on to our abusers), guilt us into continuing/resuming contact, justifying our abusers’ actions, etc.

FOC - Family of Choice

FOG - Fear, Obligation and Guilt. Common feelings experienced by people in a relationship with someone who suffers from a personality disorder. More info here.

FOO - Family of Origin

##G

Gaslighting - Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse in which information is twisted or spun, selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity. More info here.

GC - Golden Child

Ghosting - Gradually going from LC to NC without making a “formal announcement” to our abusers.

Grey Rocking/Grey Rock Technique - “Do not respond with any emotion when they try and provoke you… In order to go Gray Rock, when you must engage with the Narcissist, only talk about boring things: your laundry, getting your oil changed, doing your taxes. Do not talk about anything that will make them jealous or in any way encourages them to cause drama.” This method may be useful when cutting off or reducing contact to an abuser is not possible. Read more about this technique here: http://www.lovefraud.com/2012/02/10/the-gray-rock-method-of-dealing-with-psychopaths/

###H

Hoovering - Narcissistic hoovering refers to attempts made by the narcissist to bring you back into their life – often after a period of distance on your part. Especially if this is a new behaviour for you, the narcissist might hold off for a short while to see if you’re really serious about creating that distance. During the process, the narcissist abuser may employ virtually any means necessary to obtain their desired result: the return of the victim to the abusive relationship. These ploys can include attempting to put the victim on a guilt-trip, generating false promises of changed behavior, false promises of too-good-to-be-true gifts, begging, screaming at the victim, use of relationship shame, making threats, insincerely accepting blame for the failure of the relationship, or even using others (flying monkeys) to help persuade the victim to return to the relationship. The abusive narcissist is on a no-holds-barred campaign to convince the victim to return to the abuse and their abusive clutches.

##J

J.A.D.E. - Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain. To avoid circular conversations, don’t JADE. (source: Out of the Fog)

##L

LC - Low Contact. Technique that reduces contact to the abuser in terms of intensity or frequency.

##N

N or Narc - Narcissist/Narcissistic

NC - No Contact

NMiL/NFiL - Narcissistic mother-in-law/father-in-law

NMom/NDad - Narcissistic mother/father

Nsupply - The energy or emotional hit that a Narcissist gets from creating an emotional response in their victims

##S

SC - Structured Contact. Technique that permits contact with the abuser within defined boundaries and rules. This may be a useful alternative when LC or NC are not possible or not desirable.

SG - Scapegoat

SIL - Sister-In-Law

SoNM - Son of Narcissistic Mother

SoNF - Son of Narcissistic Father

Sperm Donor - Alternate name for abusive/narcissistic father

##T

TW - Trigger Warning

##V

VLC - Very low contact. Like LC, this technique reduces contact with an abuser down to the bare minimum.

##W

WOES - Walking on eggshells. Having to be overly careful or quiet (literally or figuratively) so as not to upset or enrage an abuser.

All permutations of relationships exist