yet another post about the expletive I used at the workplace (the word fuck).

I asked my union representative who, among other things, suggested to explain to the coworker why I used the word, but so far I haven’t worked with her again. To me, using that word while working means nothing, but I can change my behavior around some coworkers if they find the word so offensive.

As I was sitting working my manager came to me, not asking but demanding I explain myself for using the word. She didn’t ask for my side of the story, which is the reason why I want a union representative present, because otherwise my manager will start yelling and won’t let me speak, and I still don’t know how many times she claims I used that word, if I yelled or if I told anyone to eff off.

First words out of my mouth: I’m not going to talk about this without a union representative present.

She kept pushing it, and I kept repeating my position. We repeated our sentences four times. Then she said she would inform HR, I simply said they can come, so we all four conduct the meeting.

Just as I thought we were going to agree on a time and place for a meeting, she leaves.

I asked: Aren’t we going to agree on a time and place to conduct the meeting?

Her answer: you can do that yourself.

I contacted my union representative who told me his available time slots for the next 3 weeks.

Since then I’ve been transferred to another unit (worse one) and another unit within the same system and city has offered me a job, starting in March 2025.

I still don’t understand why my manager left so abruptly and the transfer feels like retaliation, but she is well within her rights to do that.

I guess I’m well within my rights to quit the unit, but the whole situation feels strange.

I also feel my manager is playing power games: It’s me the one who has to ask for a meeting with her and HR, it’s me the one who has to state a reason good enough for the meeting to take place.

I feel she thought she could corner me and wasn’t expecting me to have contacted the union.

When people yell at me I either yell back, go away or tell the other party to wait for a meeting with somebody I trust, like a union representative.

Even if you believe I’ve been an idiot for saying that word at the workplace, at least you’ll agree this is a learning experience. Be professional at the workplace, coworkers are not your friends, be good at what you do.

If I quit, this episode is not the only reason why, but the straw that broke the camel’s back.

What would you do?

  • hendrik@palaver.p3x.de
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    27 days ago

    Use that learning opportunity for your future. That’s the main thing. And maybe a change of scenery won’t hurt. I doubt you’ll reconcile with your manager and coworkers, so you might as well take the other job offer, if it’s alright.