

Universal Basic Bribe


Universal Basic Bribe
The Republican strategy for decades was to target fifth-grade intelligence. Trump’s political innovation was to target third-grade intelligence.


Because he is literally a human loyalty test.


I don’t think the GOP should be allowed to attend any event with a crowd
On the other hand, if this rule had been implemented we’d still have Charlie Kirk with us.


They have like nine different types of eyes. Even that tail is an eye of sorts, covered with photoreceptors.


He never reads it, though. Because the pages are stuck together.


“This is my son Kevlar.”


That’s a pithy statement!


transfer his consciousness to one of these kids
On the plus side, it wouldn’t really be his consciousness so he would be dead. On the negative side, it would be a consciousness exactly like his so it would still be a problem for the other seven billion people on the planet.


Prompt engineer? No, prompt whore.


Lenin came to power via coup and secret police arresting and murdering the Socialist Revolutionaries.
Not to mention the assistance of Germany in helping him return to Russia.


Wait, did Einstein dump Lance or was it the other way around?

I mean, before the advent of GPS, ships at sea got a “fix” of their position by taking two measurements: north/south latitude (via a sextant when the sun was visible) and east/west longitude (via a set of very accurate clocks that showed the time in Greenwich England, which could be easily compared to the time aboard ship). Mercator maps are just a grid showing where all the land is as a function of these two measurements on the X and Y axes. Any other projection would have just meant a lot more work figuring out where shit was, which is why Mercator became “the” map. It had absolutely nothing to do with any attempt to make Europe appear dominant – Europe’s dominance when these maps came into existence was too obvious and unquestioned to need any parlor tricks.


They meant fish tank.


I miss giant zucchinis. The groundhogs have defeated everyone in my neighborhood.


More like $1000+ a month for a policy with a $7000+ annual deductible. If you’re lucky and have a job with subsidized health insurance, it’s much more reasonable. I’m a school bus driver and have excellent health insurance (which is rare for school bus drivers); I pay $129 a month while the district pays the rest and I have essentially no deductible.


I was on private health insurance for a couple of years. My premium was over $300 a month and my deductible was $7000. I had looked for an ACA policy on the government website but something with the same level of deductible was closer to $1000 a month. What really sucked is that my private policy did not qualify for the exemption from the fine you had to pay for not having health insurance. Somehow I never had to pay the fine, I dunno why not. I’m sure my policy also would have fucked me if I’d ever tried to collect on it, but fortunately I was completely healthy during that stretch.


In the 1980s, Trump always made Spy magazine’s “Top 10 Worst People, Places or Things” list. His one “mitigating factor” was always “at least he’s not in politics”.
A weave is attached to remnants of real hair. There’s no fucking way there’s any real hair coming out of that head unless it’s his eyebrows, ears or nose.