Researchers are ecstatic at the prospect that they may have finally discovered the region of space from which Ozzy Osbourne came to this planet.

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Guy running for VP: “JD Vance may have sex with couches, dolphins, and even more disturbing things the electorate will learn about soon enough, but JD Vance will be damned if JD Vance ever uses the devil’s pronouns.”

In his defense, Elon both owns the platform and is a giant manbaby throwing a neverending tantrum at even the thought of rules applying to him.

Even worse, the entire concept of clocking in and out for ~8-hour shifts comes from factory jobs during the Industrial Revolution. Missing time meant that your station on the line wasn’t being manned and was holding up production. While obviously some fields still operate like that, many modern professions are task-oriented and being forced to be physically present for an entire shift is entirely unnecessary.

What you need is a criminal spokesperson.

Overthrow the tyrants that keep us in chains! Physically occupy residential property en masse and claim squatter’s rights. Bring back crucifixion for white collar criminals on Wall Street. Raid the pharmaceutical industry’s warehouses and distribute medication for free. In Minecraft, of course.

Frodo could have keister’d it and simply walked to Mordor.

If those spelunkers could read, they’d be very upset.

Thought theft affects thousands of employers every day. They’re not paying you to figure out who’s going to find your body after you kill yourself. They’re paying you to work!

We must seize the means of not giving a fuck.

Oy! Y’got a loicense for that poi?

The Ukrainian Reddit Legion- forged in the fires of Call of Duty. Able to survive for hours on a single pack of chicken tenders.