I would spend that time insulating my house, updating my windows, etc.

How do you think we became the richest country on earth? Capitalism run amok and fucking people over.

Silver lining: at least it didn’t go to paramount. I have been watching this and waiting to cancel my max account for the announcement.

He didn’t spend 8 years in evil medical school to be called “Mr. Evil” thank you very much!

There’s nothing particularly special about our language or food other than both being an amalgamation and bastardization of other cultures.

Hope someone can help ya.

That’s how I lost my steamroller. May she RIP.

We put a broke ass mother fucker posing as rich on a reality show as president and you think a satire account becoming president isn’t possible? I’m telling you, at this point, fictional characters are possible. These idiots will elect Futurama’s version of Nixon if they get a chance. “Agnew!!!”

Womp womp.

The devils lettuce is actually just marketing. It’s actually moss of the gods.

Russia is struggling against one country, how TF do they think they could take on Europe as a whole?

Speak for yourself. A tyrannical dictator paid me hundreds of thousands of dollars just to feed me turkey and deviled eggs in an enclosed room with some kind of fan and concentration chamber.

Bro, you’re missing out, bro. Let’s just hot box our farts together. It’s super good for you, bro.

Mine smells like freshly baked cookies.

My dog likes to stretch his front legs as he’s getting off the couch, and in doing so, always, ALWAYS farts with these butthole spasms where it opens and closes several times. It’s a fucking horror show. It’s like watching the good place then suddenly cut to real life footage of a murder. Straight up traumatizing.

That’s rarely been my case. Usually it’s “it smells like someone died a few days ago but I’m not calling the cops”

That’s how you know you’ve succeeded in life.

I hate Walmart on such an epic level that in the few times I’m forced to go there, I’m disappointed when I can’t crop dust someone in there.

That south park episode where they fart in champagne glasses comes to mind.

I did a silent but deadly in a gas station line once and made a kid cry because of it. Never been more proud in my life.