I was this years old 😅 meaning 34. I was diagnosed officially in March of 2023 after being self-diagnosed for about 3.5 years before that. Never suspected I was autistic beforehand much the same as you. I just knew I was weird, felt stuck between pleasing people (and thus trying to be neurotypical and failing) and trying to be myself. I’m still not there yet but knowing about other women experiencing a lot of the same “milestones” in life has helped me. Aspects of your story match mine to a T, including the part about rambling, haha. I’m very happy with communities like these where we can share and not feel lonely so often. Being alone can be a choice, but feeling lonely, especially when surrounded by people who, seemingly or not, “fit in” is so so so detrimental to my mental health. I don’t know what’s worse sometimes: receiving compliments for being “so well-adjusted” and “so well-behaved” versus being stuck in my own head overanalyzing every little thing I do and say and never feeling like I did well or like I behaved like a “good human being” /End ramble ;-)