I swear I’m not Jessica

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 4th, 2023

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  • It was mostly not knowing that I would like being a girl. Before I was an adult, I never considered that being femme would be something that I might like. Even when I considered it to be an option, I legitimately couldn’t figure out how I felt about it. I don’t recall ever thinking that it was what I wanted, only being very interested in other people crossdressing.

    Thanks to my autism, I need to observe myself like I’m observing another person to figure out what I’m feeling or what I want. I look at my behavior, physiological responses, thought patterns, and the context to figure out how I feel. I have wants, but I struggle to know what they are. I knew I hated something about myself, but not what it was.

    I questioned myself so much because I didn’t want to be a girl consciously as a kid, but after enough experimentation, I finally realized what I wanted. It took me longer to realize that I fucking hated being male. I feel so much happier as a woman than I expected would ever be possible. I never really felt alive until I realized who I was.




















  • Because “humanity” isn’t really screwed, just most members of humanity. I hate this assumption that climate catastrophe or nuclear war will be a certain end. No it won’t. Humans will survive, maybe even a large percentage of them. LIFE GOES ON.

    Maybe you want death because trying to improve things is “too hard,” but I want to live. I hold onto hope because life is more fulfilling that way. You’re just justifying apathy by assuming we’re all going to die when it’s actually unlikely to happen.


  • It is a shame, as what was really wrong with her wasn’t that she used escapism, but that she was apathetic. You can escape reality and relax, but there’s work to do if we want to contribute positively to the world. All mediums can pacify us from the horrors of the world. Books are slightly better by virtue of having a lower barrier to entry, but the internet lowered that potential barrier.