Tongue fucking ass doesn’t roll off the fart licker like “eating”

We could bouge it up some though. Tonight I’ll be dining on ass

Do you perform ze obligations?

Every time it gets difficult I imagine cleaning week old fry grease out of the fryer with a coat hanger because it was so clogged. I was making less then.

I love context. It helps so much.

Honestly it’s only bad when they come at it like they know more than you do. 1 out of 100 in my very lucky experience.

No pussy household. If it bleeds it leaves.

Ask to smell his gooch

“show me your shitpost comments”

Deal. I’ll donald duck that shit

“vote beige cunt”

I need the shirt.

Omfg I just saw Jews :( have not laughed that audibly at online shit in a whiiiillllle

User end hands on IT for the elderly.

that it’s hard. “Oh I could never do your job”

It’s literally a customer service job with tech paint. Reboot the device. Don’t yell at the decrepit person doing their best in a digital world. Collect check and praise.

The amount of times I’ve been called a genius for relogging into someone’s email is greater than 7.

Yeah. Real hard.

Congrats on sticking to it. Getting out of that rut.

Ive been a horrific introvert through most of my 20s. Met someone with similar interests, for once, and now it doesn’t feel like such a chore. Gone to do more in 6 months than in 20 years.

Humans can get use to anything and call it normal.

“I sent a postcard to my gram gram from the lynching I went to this weekend”

“explain your type(s)”

Spirit animal.

Fuck you for ruining my zen. I am now operating purely off spite.

I_HATE_KNICKERS

there were a lot of funny ones on the Opie and Anthony reddit

1 in every 1000 tickle me Elmo voice lines are him quoting mein kampf

“hey we’re short sooo…”

I’m already here. I’m on borrowed time

Removed by mod

Keep your work cloths on when you get home until you’ve made a meal.

I’ve found if I quit the “work mode” and get cozy my odds decrease exponentially. If I don’t have someone to cook for (which is easier than cooking for self).

Trick your brain.

Get some ready to eat meals from Costco. Most the time youre just heating in a pot for good food that can be jazzed up as needed for minimal effort.

Heb has meal simples that are incredible one portion oven meals for like $10