I dug my last surviving pain of Kikwear out of storage when I saw this coming.

Waiting for the perfect event to mortify my teenage nephew, who wears nothing but Adidas .

Still waiting on a fax from them to confirm.

Imagine how massive the camera that took that picture is!

That’s an instant X2 score modifier right there.

I get so pissed off when one of the YouTubers I follow starts shilling for some bs subscription service that I have to play a few hours of Raid: Shadow Legends to calm down.

That would be impossible, for I am the raciest uncle!

Edit: And before my inbox fills up, I’m only into Weird Aunts with a balanced cat/tattoo ratio.

What if we made some sort of floating train?

I’ve seen airline bottles of Johnnie Walker for about $5 around me. I’d spend the $15 on a full sized bottle of Evan Williams, though.

All it needs is a line saying, “Hand Blown Artisanal Glassware and Other Whimsical Notions”

Hooray. I’ve been looking to add a few more points of maintenance and failure to my bike.

If women are truly the fairer sex, why are they always cheating at cards?

Technically, yes.

I think the scenario would require you to heat up pure H20 in a perfectly clean non porous glass. The H20 would not bubble and boil so the temperature would raise above the boiling point.

Once anything is introduced, like a spoon or a tea bag, into the liquid it would explode with steam and super hot water.

I’m sure someone smarter than me could explain it more better.

American beer is like sex in a canoe.

I wonder if there is a statue of limitations for situations like this…

Hell, it took me years to not rub up against every wall while smashing space after playing Doom.

I started taking graphic design classes in the mid 2ks and the amount of my brain that has been squandered making everything look like shiny candy floating in a polished plastic void is disgusting.

Then I learned how to make everything look like it was badly spray stenciled and drug through a post industrial alley so I could really stick it to the man.

This might as well ask, “When were you young and broke and wanted everything you saw in a commercial and then started collecting ridiculous amounts of nostalgia product as soon as you had even a crumb of disposable income.”

Thankfully I didn’t fall for that nonsense.

: reclines on throne made entirely of first gen Zunes and Sidekick phones:

…ou say?

Oooh! Free vendetta ghosts!

I knew taking four years of Applied Rap Math would pay off.