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  • 54 Comments
Joined 3 months ago
Cake day: February 14th, 2025
  • jade52@lemmy.catoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world•I avoid approaching women in public because I believe it's inappropriate. My parents say that it's a necessary skill. Who is right?
    8·
    1 hour ago

    This is the answer. You can absolutely approach a woman if you are interested in her, just be respectful and polite about it. I’m a woman who has been both rudely approached and politely approached.

    Scenario 1- bad experience: I was at a show seeing some metal bands I really liked. I was wearing a shirt with a local band that was big in the 80s 90s. The band is bit niche, not hugely known to the general public. So I’m minding my own business waiting to buy a drink, and this guy approaches me, points to my boobs and says “Do you even know who that band is?” I told him “yes, I’m a huge fan and have been listening to them for years.” That should have been the end of it, but then he tells me “oh I’m only asking since my niece has been wearing my old band shirts because they look cool”. Ok bud. There was no reason to tell me this. He was not approaching other men and asking them this same question. He was belittling me, in order to get me to talk to him. Which is a common tactic around men who don’t respect women as people (see Dennis Reynolds from it’s always sunny)

    Scenario 2 - positive experience: Again, at a metal concert. I’m there with my husband and his bff. I was there to see the headliner, they were there to see the band before. My husband wasn’t feeling great all day, and his friend had to work early the next day, so they left and I stayed to watch the headlining band. I noticed this group of guys, especially one, sort of looking at me every once and a while, but I ignored it and watched the band. Once the show was over, I left and was waiting at the bus stop. The same group of guys approached me, and one that was looking at me during the show says “hi, my name is ____. I’m sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to introduce myself since I couldn’t help looking at you during the show. I don’t want to be a creep but I think you’re beautiful, would you like to grab a drink with me and my friends?” So I thanked him, and said I would have to pass, but hoped they all had a fun night". The they left, I got on the bus, felt safe and not bothered. This man complimented me in a respectful way and that was the end of it.

    Hope that helps!

  • jade52@lemmy.catoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world•How do you stay active?
    8·
    14 days ago

    Lifelong lazy person here. I got a Fitbit. At first I just used it for counting my steps and heart rate, but after a while I decided to I crease my cardio load. Being able to see the data of my progress really helped. The steps goal is a big one too (I also work a desk job). It helped me keep mindful of how much I need to move. After a few months it was so much easier.