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Joined 3 months ago
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Cake day: February 22nd, 2026

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  • jtrek@startrek.websitetome_irl@lemmy.worldme_irl
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    4 hours ago

    the librarian isn’t picking the books for you dude. you can also go to other libraries

    You can go to other platforms, so I’m not sure what this is a rebuttal of.

    and them thinking I’m a huge asshole

    I mean… if you behave in person like you do here, you might be coming off as not very fun




  • jtrek@startrek.websitetome_irl@lemmy.worldme_irl
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    13 hours ago

    Saying “the apps don’t match people” and “the apps provide a platform [for matching]” is I guess technically true but disingenuous. You could say, like, libraries don’t give you books. You have to go and check it out yourself. Yeah, kind of, but people go there with a purpose the platform is (nominally) intended to fulfill.

    your success on the app is a product of your attractiveness

    I don’t know if that’s really true. I’m middling attractive and had a lot of success. There are a lot of factors.

    I don’t think the sweeping generalizations about people are really helpful. Is this making you happy? Are you doing okay in your dating life?

    I feel like we’ve had this conversation before.



  • jtrek@startrek.websitetome_irl@lemmy.worldme_irl
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    14 hours ago

    I’m not buying into techno evangelism. I’m saying that given a choice between a good faith effort to match users with compatible dates, and something else that will make money, they will almost always choose to make money. You can have success on the apps, but they’re not trying to get that success rate very high.

    Furthermore, many problems people face in dating are present with or without apps. The behavioral and emotional provlems you allude to, I expect.










  • $4500 was in my head because that was the projected mortgage+taxes+fees for a 2BR apartment in brooklyn I saw the other day.

    There are some apartments in NYC that are that expensive to rent. Average here is $3,650, but that’s skewed by a lot of stupid expensive places. Median is a little lower.

    Other parts of the country can be much cheaper, but sometimes you get what you pay for.

    You are also missing private retirement funds

    Good call.

    (and if car dependent 100/month seems very low for transit costs)

    That’s a good point. I rely on mass transit, which is much cheaper.



  • jtrek@startrek.websitetome_irl@lemmy.worldMe_irl
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    2 days ago

    I believe that really depends on where you live. Also did you mean net or gross?

    Some napkin math I did now, if your gross is 100k…

    After tax 75k

    • housing 2500
    • food: 250
    • Internet 100
    • phone: 40
    • health: 200
    • transit: 100
    • utilities: 200

    Edit: I fucked up and did 4500 for housing not 2500. Cheaper housing gives a lot more room!

    That leaves you with like $860/mo for fun or any other thing.

    Of course that’s a lot of assumptions that can change it. But I’d say 200k gross is the start of “don’t have to think too hard about money”