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Record profits and all time high stock price… great time for layoffs!!!
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Here’s how it works at my job:
Monday- “We came in as the number one provider of our particular service in the nation for the 10th year in a row! Let’s spend $100,000 to force everyone to meet in person in a smelly convention center at 7am to CELEBRATE!”
Tuesday- “WE NEED ALL HANDS ON DECK! YOU PEOPLE HAVE TO START SELLING MORE! DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN WANT A CHRISTMAS BONUS THIS YEAR??? DO YOU NOT REALIZE THAT OUR NUMBER ONE COMPETITOR IS STILL IN BUSINESS AND NOT COWERING BENEATH US YET??? UNTIL THEY GO BANKRUPT AND WE CAN LAUGH AT THEIR CRIES OF SORROW WE ARE IN PANIC MODE!!!”
For the first time in my life finishing a project was just rewarded with a pizza party. It’s desperate times despite the record profits.
I worked at a MSP as a tier I tech that was like this. Their yearly revenue was like $360 million dollars and they held quarterly meetings telling us about the big promotions for upper levels, and how they’re doing better than ever because of remote work due to the pandemic. They paid people starting $16 an hour. I was making $18 when I left. A 1 bedroom was about $1200 a month, and that was on the lower end. I kept asking for more and telling them I could work at a gas station and make the same. They bought us pizza once a week and they’d take us to a bar a couple times a year and my bosses would get shit faced. When “important” people came they had nice food catered and made us stay in cubicle land until everyone left and we were allowed to have the scraps. They still wanted us to dress up, though. Fuck corporations. I’m trying to leave the one I’m in now.
Back in the '90s I worked for an Internet startup that was still in the phase of desperately seeking another round of venture capital financing to keep going. At one point they were trying to suck up to RJR Nabisco’s venture capital wing (tobacco companies made SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY that they spun off into fucking venture capitalism) and they were invited to visit our office one day. Our building was non-smoking (which was even in our lease) but that day we had set out ashtrays and these fucking RJR Nabisco suits literally chain-smoked all day. There was so much cigarette smoke that you couldn’t see to the end of the main hallway. I made a point of coughing theatrically every time I passed the conference room doors and I was finally ordered to go home after lunch. It was obvious they were never going to give us any money or I’m sure I would have been fired.
I like to think that these RJR Nabisco bastards are all long dead from cancer or emphysema at this point.
