My wife, to this day, shuts off the shower and then immediately steps out while water is still running off her soaking wet body, inevitably creating a puddle in the bathroom.

“Honey, why don’t you drip for like five seconds, or even grab the towel and give yourself a quick dab before you get out?”

The first time I told her this she just stared at me for a solid 20s while her brain rebooted. But then her “never admit anything ever under any circumstances” instinct kicked in and she responded “wow are you really policing my shower habits?”

So anyway, now she knows better, but still does it because marriage is about compromise, or something.

When I was 30 I learned that I had pronounced and spelled the German word “unbedingt” wrong my entire life. I thought it was “umbedigt” as in “um jeden Preis”. I thought all others spelled and pronounced it wrong or spoke more elaborate than I.

I was about 25 years old before I realized I could use warm water to wash my hands in the winter. I’m usually considered a very intelligent individual, but for some reason this never occurred to me. Maybe it’s because I grew up poor and we tried to use as little hot water as possible, or maybe I’m just not as smart as people think I am.

I didn’t realize I could dry off with a towel while still standing in the bathtub/shower until I was 26. Now my bathroom floor doesn’t get wet on a daily basis.