Oh shit I forgot, if you have a really big eggplant you can slice it thinly and use it as the noodles for (gluten free) lasagna.

As has been mentioned, a problem with eggplants is that many of the larger ones (and some cultivars in general) have a tendency to develop a fibrous, spongy texture that is really shit. But there are ways to prepare them that fix that problem. Recently, i’ve become very fond of nasu dengaku, a Japanese recipe for oven-baked, caramelized eggplant. My way to prepare this is to cut the eggplant in half, cut a crisscross pattern into the surface, fry both halves in the pan for 5 minutes on each side and then bake in the oven for about half an hour. While it bakes, i prepare a glazing out of miso paste, mirin (rice vinegar), an alcohol (originally sake, but i use rum atm because i want to use that bottle up, it works fine) and something sugary like brown sugar or honey. I just use my favorite honey substitute, pomegrenade syrup. i whisk all of that until it’s even, spread it across the crisscrossed baked surface of the eggplants, then bake for another 5 or so minutes while the grill function of the oven is on full blast. The glazing should start to bubble nicely as the alcohol evaporates and the sugar caramelizes. When it comes out, the flesh should be really buttery and soft, with none of that sponge-like texture that many people dread about eggplants.

Sorry for not providing exact measurements, i work mostly vibes based in the kitchen.

I just ate some today, one of my favourite Iranian dishes:Persian Eggplant Stew

Also a lot of prep, but you can make gnocchi by mixing it in with potatoes.

Edit: Also

so I have this giant eggplant…

Bruh, same!

Briam is super easy. Eggplant, zucchini, potato, red onion, tomato, all sliced and placed in a bed of tomato sauce in a cassarole dish, topped with thyme or rosemary, and roasted in the oven.

https://www.williams-sonoma.com/recipe/j-kenji-lopez-alt-sichuan-style-eggplant.html

A little baba ghanoush could be good, or pasta alla norma?

Eggplant, like zuchinni, are best when smaller and get fibrous as they age. Eggplant also get more bitter. In particular, the seeds turn dark as if to warn you.

Maybe babaganoush? It is simple to make if you have an immersion blender or food processor to make it smooth. Roast the eggplant until it is little more than goo – ideally do this on a grill or broiler to char the outside, but the tricky part becomes how to get a gooey mass off the grill, especially since you’ll probably want to cut it in half from stem to butt. Peel off the skin, scooping as much of the browned, smoky goodness off the interior as possible and put the mess in the mixing bowl with: garlic, lemon, tahini, and olive oil. Buzz that up and serve with optional pine nuts and sumac garnish. Eat with pita or chips. Sample recipe: https://www.bengingi.com/recipe/baba-ganoush/

I love moussaka, but the eggplant needs to be prepped well. I’ve also done the same prep for it and put it on pizza, eaten it as a side or on top of a sandwich.

I do the whole slice it, salt it, rinse it and dry it and then fry the pieces in copious amounts of olive oil. Spices salt, pepper, garlic. It becomes very delish this way.

You could also grill it and make it into a spread, a lot of nice Turkish recipes for that.

There’s also an eggplant stew that I just love and have made a few times myself. I’ll edit once I find the recipe. Edit. Here’s a version, I’ve done similar, but use chickpeas instead of the meat and just fry the eggplant on a pan.

If you don’t particularly like eggplant on its own, maybe turn it into zaalouk (dicing and mixing in tomatoes and garlic and roasting everything) or hunkar begendi (pureeing in bechamel-like sauce).

Greek briam is pretty tasty, and you bake it so you can just bake it longer so that the fibrousness breaks down a little more. Its good, its vegetarian (vegan if you get vegan feta cheese) and quite tasty.