If you haven’t heard this cliche while discussing your neurodivergency with someone, then I envy your luck. Yesterday I fucked up, I feel shitty, but also I am pissed.
Our brains are impulsive af and tend to forget the most important information. We mess up, our RSD (and empathy) kicks in, we feel terrible, we vow to be more careful, but guess what? Thats fucking exhausting.
As a result, we start overthinking our every waking moment, stressing over every little thing. Because, we are trying to be aware of the things we cannot perceive.
At some point, hopefully we realize that we cannot live like that, and we start to arbitrarily ignore our compulsion to overthink. Most often that works out great because most often the threat is not real, but sometimes we make the wrong call.
The times we overthink are still more than the times we do not, and we still mess up. Let us have our fucking peace.
In therapy and on meds, which is why I’m still limping along instead of giving up 👍
Intellectually I don’t think there’s much point to continuing existence, but working on that in therapy and thanks to medication I’m emotionally disconnected from the depressive Bad Thoughts ™️, so I’m still just going until I can’t. The depression can get better but the ADHD can’t really.
So, I might not really want to exist, but I feel apathetic about it generally! 🎉
The good thing is that what is considered “being successful” is completely arbitrary and in the grand scheme of things completely irrelevant. You don’t need to “be successful” to lead a happy life. This “scraping by” you say is a pretty bleak picture is just so because you think it is, you can be absolutely happy living like that. I hope you’ll be able to be happy eventually <3
From a critter in a similar spot (as opposed to some arrogant, condescending prick, which is apparently the norm in this thread), good luck having life! If you figure out a neat secret trick that makes it good, lemme know :P
Won’t blame you if you don’t, though. Some of us just can’t, and no amount of “just get over it” is ever gonna “fix” us so we act like others want us to regardless of what that does to us.