• Pringles@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    31
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    7 months ago

    I had a friend at university who was in quite a long relationship who kept a list of people she wanted to sleep with in case they broke up. So when they eventually had a break up, she postponed getting back together until she had cleared the list, which took her about two months. I was not on the list, in case you’re wondering, nor did I want to.

    • Coreidan@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      45
      arrow-down
      5
      ·
      7 months ago

      For real? That’s both sad and creepy.

      I hope the other person in the relationship bailed for their own sake.

      • 🦄🦄🦄@feddit.de
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        16
        arrow-down
        11
        ·
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        That’s both sad and creepy.

        How is it either of those things? Let people fuck who they want to fuck as long as it is consentual, who cares?

        • Coreidan@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          46
          arrow-down
          5
          ·
          edit-2
          7 months ago

          “Hey babe. I made a mistake. I want to get back together.”

          “Sure no problem! Me too! I just need to plow through this list of dudes I’m gonna fuck first.”

          Seems like an awfully shitty thing to do to someone that’s genuinely interested in you.

          • EatATaco@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            8
            arrow-down
            4
            ·
            7 months ago

            You cheat on someone: you’re a worthless piece of shit.

            You don’t get back together with someone because you want to have sex with other people first: you’re sad and creepy.

            One can never win when it comes to sex in a puritanical society, unless they very faithfully only have sex with one person.

          • AlDente@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            8
            arrow-down
            15
            ·
            edit-2
            7 months ago

            Sounds kinda hot to me. To spice things up, I’d want to hear all about it when we get back together.

            E: Kink shamers, the lot of you! I’d rather be with an experienced lady over someone who’s only been with me.

            • lost_faith@lemmy.ca
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              7 months ago

              Exactly, how else will they know they are with the best? In all aspects of a relationship

          • 🦄🦄🦄@feddit.de
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            7
            arrow-down
            25
            ·
            7 months ago

            Right and clearly women sleeping with more men devalues them? Or what is your problem?

            • Coreidan@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              20
              arrow-down
              5
              ·
              edit-2
              7 months ago

              My point is if I’m interested in someone (man or women) I’m going to have zero interest in waiting for them to fuck a bunch of people first.

              Why would I? I clearly don’t mean anything to you if you need to fuck a bunch of people first.

              You just be young or have never been in a loving relationship before.

              If I told my girlfriend right before I started dating her that before we start I need to go bang 15 women, should have told me to get lost. And rightfully so.

              I can’t help but find this to be a sad reality.

              • 🦄🦄🦄@feddit.de
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                8
                arrow-down
                20
                ·
                7 months ago

                Lol I am not young and have been in several decade-long relationships but sure go ahead assuming.

                I clearly don’t mean anything to you if you need to fuck a bunch of people first.

                Thats the real sad mindset I think. You are clearly tying value to number of sexual partners.

                • Coreidan@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  7
                  arrow-down
                  3
                  ·
                  7 months ago

                  lol no. Has nothing to do with valuing number of partners. It’s that I don’t want the woman I love fucking other people.

                  Is it really that hard to understand? Good lord.

                • Squizzy@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  arrow-down
                  8
                  ·
                  7 months ago

                  Or vakuento were your are in their priorities which one would and should expect to rank higher than one night stands. You are losing this ine white knight.

                  • optissima@lemmy.world
                    link
                    fedilink
                    English
                    arrow-up
                    4
                    arrow-down
                    1
                    ·
                    7 months ago

                    White knight? Lmao they’re right and white knight doesn’t even apply here.

        • gianni@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          7
          arrow-down
          5
          ·
          7 months ago

          Making a list of people to fuck can be a bit creepy for exactly the reason you mentioned: consent—or the absence of it.

          • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            6
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            7 months ago

            What? You need consent to find someone attractive now? Jesus fucking christ, go touch grass

            • BigPotato@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              4
              ·
              7 months ago

              No, you don’t need consent to find someone attractive - that’s a personal thing.

              That said, imagine you’re in a fat neckbeards house that smells slightly of wet socks and you find a piece of paper that lists out twenty women he wants to bang. Creepy, right?

              Flip the script and you’re in an attractive woman’s house that smells of sandalwood and you find a list of guys names that she plans to have sex with. That’s… Still creepy, right?

              In the above listed story, which is probably fake anyway, the woman kept a running tab of people in her life, not celebrities and such, who she would sleep with if they went on a break for any reason. That alone would’ve been a deal breaker for me and I’d have given her the freedom to go do her list. That’s like me saying to my partner “Here’s a list of possibles. Make me mad and I’ll go seal the deal with them before we make up.”

              Now, the woman in the story apparently had to sleep with the whole list, ala My Name Is Earl, for them to get back together. The men, obviously, would sleep with her is the implication. For all we know though, this woman propositioned the men and respected any who turned her down and removed them from the list.

              I actually don’t care about any of this, just needed something to ponder on the toilet.

              • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                1
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                7 months ago

                The former example is creepy because the guy is creepy, in both examples the list itself is not creepy. Wanting to have sex is not a bad thing.

                • EatATaco@lemm.ee
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  ·
                  7 months ago

                  Well, you see, I’m trying to find a reason for it to be creepy, so that’s why it’s creepy. Pretty straight forward difference there.