I used to wear hoodies a lot because it would cover up my body and help with the dysphoria. I still like them because they’re warm and comfortable, but unlike back then I don’t wear them in the summer when it’s blazing hot out. Other than that I don’t have much preferences, I just wear generic clothes.

I was called a freak by my mother and father who told me I would never be a woman, that I’m a man pretending to be a woman. That I was destroying my body by doing HRT. Average shit from right-wing parents. And they wonder why I don’t talk to them anymore. Maybe your daughter hates you because you refuse to accept her, and repeatedly deadname and misgender her whenever she called you.

Yeah that was most definitely my worst birthday, so glad I cut those dipshits out of my life.

If you imagine and act on your own you’re going to be much less successful than if you also connect with others.

I guess that makes sense, still is incredible.

Not the OP, but I am transfem myself. No unfortunately beard doesn’t go away with hormones. It grows slightly more slowly and the hairs are finer, but it’s still there. I haven’t had laser or electrolysis to remove the hairs permanently so I still have to shave. I hate it so much, I wish my beard would just go away 😭

That’s incredible, all that from just 3 months of HRT. It’s really impressive. I wish I were that lucky, it took me more than 3 years to get much progress on HRT myself.

You shouldn’t bother trying to waste your breath explaining anything, I have no intention of wasting my time listening to people like you. This quote sums up people like you pretty well, just replace anti-semite with alt-right.

Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past.

Yeah it’s easy to spot when you know what to look for. Even if they do try to hide it, which this guy did a shitty job at.

Ada seems really cool, she does a lot for this community and won’t take shit from transphobes, which seem to be most of the people I see complaining about her, transphobes and their “centrist” apologists. IMO those are the one group of people you don’t try to please, them not being pleased is a good thing.

Guantanamo is a Cuban base used by America, same thing different context.

It’s the only worthwhile response. If you try to debate them, they will just toy with you and give garbage arguments, then go silent when they run out of useless arguments.

Found another one of them.

Just in case it’s not clear, there are indeed people with ideas so toxic and so dangerous they need to be removed. Otherwise they will ruin it for everyone. When you tolerate the intolerant, tolerance is eventually seized and destroyed by the intolerant.

This isn’t a case of disagreeing, this is by far the most common misrepresentation that centrist apologists use to try and vilify the banning and ostracizing of bigots and harmful ideology. There is no comparison to disagreeing about flavors of ice cream, to not wanting someone who hates trans people in your community where trans people hang out. Any attempt to do so is a bad faith comparison, because they are not equivalent.

He doesn’t consider himself a right-wing extremist, yet he hangs out on Truth social, and admitted to it himself. That tells us all we need to know about what kind of person he is. Most people who aren’t rather far right wing don’t hang out on truth social, a platform by conservatives, for conservatives.

When you said you were on truth social I knew exactly the kind of person you are. It’s not surprising that you get called a Nazi and a Maga often, you share very similar beliefs with them. Also “You have the right to pretend to be whoever you want to be” fuck you, I’m not pretending, none of us are pretending. This is what I’m talking about when I say thinly veiled transphobia and denial of our identities. We aren’t pretending to be women, we ARE women, trans women are women. If you can’t accept that, regardless of how you self-proclaim yourself or how nice you claim to be or support us, you are a transphobe, because you are refusing to accept us for who we are, and instead try to push and insist that we are something we are not and are just pretending. Go fuck off.

I was pointing out that out of the three that we have here, the .ml one has the least problems. Maybe it isn’t perfect but the .zip one is run by a transphobia apologist who literally did it in this community, and the .world one is crawling with with transphobes and transphobia apologists.

Maybe lemmy.ml as an instance isn’t super great, I can understand that. I know about the controversy with Nutomic. I just wanted to suggest an alternative to using the one on lemmy.zip and I don’t think it’s a great idea to use the one on lemmy.world because lemmy.world as an instance has a transphobia problem among their userbase, and it’s really bad to be there as someone openly trans or visibly queer.

I changed my post not to recommend lemmy.ml specifically, and instead be about the event itself without offering any recommendations of alternatives specifically. What matters most is that people here know about this and don’t continue using a community run by a transphobia apologist.

It’s almost certainly transphobic people or bots run by transphobic people. Either way people who don’t bring anything positive to the discussion and who bear hostility to the trans community, hence why I say the downvotes on the post can be used to find some of the more quiet transphobes and ban them.

what qualifies as “just asking questions”

You just highlighted a transphobic dogwhistle, where people claim to be “just asking questions” and their questions are by nature invalidating or attempting to be invalidating towards trans people.

if you want to know what I meant by downvotes in the thread, many people who are transphobic aren’t bold enough to express it directly, they do it indirectly claiming they are just asking questions or that they just don’t support that one basic things that trans people expect to receive. Some are even more less direct, lurking and hiding but they still express their distain and transphobia through downvotes. On Reddit they were practically anonymous. The fediverse though allows votes to be seen by instance admins, so it’s really easy for admins to find the ones doing this and give them the boot. Votes aren’t anonymous.

I already did provide you with criteria for what counts as transphobia, though from what you’ve said here you sound like a typical apologist and discussion will likely not go anywhere.

That’s good, though it’s also concerning that he moderates quite a few communities, and could easily use that power against people like us, might be a good idea to dissuade people from using those communities on his profile, or even just remove them entirely from the instance. Transphobic people suck, transphobic mods like him are worse.

I don’t support transphobia, but this sounds extremely aggressive and almost unworkable. Who gets to decide what qualifies as “thinly veiled transphobia”? or “transphobic dogwhistles” and what approach is used to disperse bans?

It’s easy, comments which dismiss or devalue trans people, attempt to undermine our rights, or justify or sympathize with transphobia count as thinly veiled transphobia. This is widely agreed upon by trans people and their allies alike.

For example, in many countries some people who might be generally supportive of trans people (in the sense that they would want you to be the best version of yourself) might oppose inclusion of trans women in natal-women’s spaces. Does this qualify for an automatic ban?

This is transphobic, it implies that trans women aren’t real women. We are real women. We aren’t men pretending to be women. This type of argument attempts to invalidate trans women and claim that we aren’t real women. They claim to respect us as women but they don’t think we should be in spaces with other women. If we’re real women and they think we’re real women how does that make any sense. Answer, it doesn’t. This is an example of thinly veiled transphobia.

Some might claim this is transphobic, but my answer to that would be: How do you know? Do you speak the local language? Have you lived there? Do you have any knowledge about the region’s history? Do you know what the attitude of the local LGBT community is to the above-mentioned example?

More examples of trying to justify thinly veiled transphobia. You know how we know it IS transphobic, because it is exclusionary towards actual women on the basis that we’re transgender. Just because transphobia is normalized in some places doesn’t make it not transphobia, also doesn’t make it not wrong and exclusionary. Please don’t try to excuse transphobia on the basis of the people being foreigners or the transphobia being mild and the people still self-proclaiming themselves to be trans allies.

Hopefully more people from lemmy.blahaj.zone can go through the general communities on lemmy.world and the like and report as many of those users as possible so they can be banned from their instance.

I would definitely oppose this without addressing specifically what qualifies as “transphobia” and what the specific policies are with regards to moderator actions. Otherwise this is just some rampage witchhunt against perceived enemies.

It’s not complicated, anything trans exclusionary or invalidating to trans identities is transphobic. “I don’t hate trans people but I don’t think they should force their identities and pronouns onto other people” is a transphobic dogwhistle and a prime example of thinly veiled transphobia, and it’s the kind of thing you’d likely excuse here. I mean you literally excused excluding trans women from “women’s spaces” despite us being women. That in and of itself is a dogwhistle, “protect women’s spaces”. I do think that Lemmy.blahaj.zone though should alert other admins including lemmy.world’s admins o the problem though so they can ban these people everywhere, and not just from a single instance and its communities.

You are describing people in the community, please don’t overgeneralize based on your experiences. Also please don’t badmouth people trying to be helpful when it comes to questioning gender identity, I know some people can come off as a bit pushy, me too sometimes, but most of us do it out of love and a desire to help.