lots of stardew valley co-op lately, i’ve never done a proper co-op farm before but a friend and i started a consistently played one and it’s a good time. also a lot of nintendo 64 stuff on my own, specifically playing kirby 64 for the billionth time

i was obsessed with this record a few years ago this is one of my favorites from wipers probably second to Mystery or Over the edge

after feeling a bit of relief for the past year or so with my chronic pain it has suddenly come back with a vengeance and now i am back on the cane and the physical therapy and i have an MRI scheduled to check if anything is new internally. woohoo /s

at the very least my mental health has finally been improving i think! its still difficult though because i feel like i lost an entire year to my bipolar disorder. i cannot remember anything from january-november of last year and i feel like i woke up from a coma? which i guess is to be expected with the dissociation i felt. shits weird

Wrestling

i didnt even scroll down to see the other disco elysium comments LOL

disco elysium

i first played it maybe 3 winter breaks from college ago, and by the time the next break rolls around im always like, “im bored with nothing to play, i kinda forget everything about disco elysium so ill replay it really quick” and at this point i might as well do it every year

i wish i could be more openly masc-leaning but there is a Lot of transphobia in my home environment also have been thinking of a name + pronoun change (he/they) and while many of my friends are extremely supportive if not trans themselves its still scary ! im also super indecisive about the name LOL

how did you guys land on a name? ive tried baby name websites but nothing has really clicked so far

permission to lib out for the next day or so?

Been seeing reports that the left engine completely detached on the takeoff roll? Concerningly similar to American Airlines Flight 191 (for the non runway freaks, the MD-11 is basically a beefed up/modernized/improved DC-10)**

Looks like it was a passenger plane with Thai Airways (registration HS-TME) before UPS acquired/converted it

i appreciate it, comrade im definitely better than i was a few months ago but its still a long way to go, having issues with getting actual consistent care but hopefully everything will get resolved sooner rather than later lol. just trying to remember that it can only go up from here yk

He was less annoying when he was alive. Most of my family is highly conservative and they’ve been wailing about him nonstop when I can guarantee they did not watch a second of his “content” before he got got

why does the mental health care system suck so much. i feel like im not even being helped at this point don’t want to get into crazy specifics but shits been tough

God this just broke my heart

had a so-so week but i went outside a lot (prob walked ~10 miles total) which im counting as a plus because i almost never go outside lol. also coming out of a recent big psych hospitalization, so honestly doing anything but being stuck in the same hallway has been great

my plan for next week is to focus on self-care as much as i can because i have a huge school deadline on the 30th, still working on things so not totally drowning in my work is a priority.

i am a professional artist (and maybe this makes me a bit out of touch,) assuming that it’s for personal use and not for profit at all, i would rather have someone take my work into photoshop/gimp/krita/whatever and trace it near directly or make edits to it to fit their vision than have that person go spend money to further refine The Slop Machine. other artists may have differing opinions on this but since generative AI has gotten popular i just simply do not care anymore as long as my work isn’t being fed to train image models. hell, if you’re tracing someone else’s work using tools on paper, that’s still building muscle memory and linework skill and while not the ideal scenario it’s doing more for you than you might think. with generative AI you are paying to generate an image based off countless images that already existed from artists that were not paid for their work to be included in the model. is that…not capitalistic or not at the very least exploitative?

not a stupid suggestion at all and once i have the finances i will most likely be getting my hands on one. i ran into a super cool cane a few years back at a thrift store that was wood-carved, but it was way too tall for me and i’ve been wanting a similar one ever since haha. a lot of my shame around my cane usage just stems from self-invalidation and feeling like i’m “not disabled/in pain enough” to justify using a mobility aid, which is something i’ve been trying to address and work through but i still have a long way to go. i appreciate the kind words and advice!

there’s some nice parks around me but not within walking distance unfortunately! i drove to one today and it was nice, couldn’t tolerate the heat for too long though so i didn’t stay for as long as i wanted to. not super into podcasts, but if you have any suggestions on what to listen to on a walk i’d try some out!

haven’t been doing too hot for the past week or so. had a few sober days, won’t get into specifics, but i definitely am capable of better. i’ve been going to my IOP program consistently without missing days this whole month so that’s a win in my book

my plan for this week is to spend more time out of the house. i am unemployed and in between semesters which has kinda been an excuse to just… rot forever for the past 2 1/2 months. not sure what to do specifically (walk, go for a drive somewhere, etc) but regardless it’ll be a change.