• Atin@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I was abused by my ex-wife for years. The treatment I received from government agencies was more damaging than most of what I got from her.

    Certain organisations that are used to inform governments, from elected officials to social workers are based on the assumption that only men are ever abusive, that all men are abusive and the women can do no wrong. It started with the Duluth model and was followed in Australia by a study done by White Ribbon that specifically excluded straight men from participating. I know this is the case as I attempted to participate and that is exactly what I was told at the time.

    Our bureau of Statistics has clearly shown that at least ⅓ of victims are men.

    • creamed_eels@toast.ooo
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      5 months ago

      This is what is meant when people talk about the patriarchy and toxic masculinity hurting everyone. It’s not “all men are bad!” But rather the idea that men aren’t allowed by society to have feelings other than anger, or are unable to be raped, or need to just “man up” when they are suffering-It’s all bullshit, and so harmful to men and boys. I’m so sorry for what you went through, and I hope you were able to find peace.

      • phoenixz@lemmy.ca
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        5 months ago

        Eh, no. A lot of this crap is also being pushed by the latest wave of feminists who are of the “all men are rapists” type. I recall seeing this video a few years back about a guy trying to get into a meeting for those left after male suicide. Guy’s brother committed suicide, he wanted, needed to talk about this and was denied entry by a bunch of feminists who literally cheered that his brother had killed himself.

        Everybody deserves equal treatment, men, women, or whatever you identify as. In the past few years though, there had been a clear push against white men because they must all be racist or something? It’s weird.

        Either way, this is not just “toxic masculinity”, way too easy to again push it on that.

        • rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee
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          5 months ago

          It is still toxic masculinity, people just aren’t prepared to acknowledge the massive role women play in propagating it.

          • I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world
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            5 months ago

            So the belief by neo-feminists that all men are rapists and undeserving of sympathy is due to all men’s toxic personality? Am I getting that right? Seems like victim blaming.

            • SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works
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              5 months ago

              “Toxic masculinity” doesn’t imply “masculinity is inherently toxic”, but rather it refers to behaviors that are generally considered masculine, and are being described as toxic. You can talk about toxic femininity as well. A lot of people do, in fact, they just call it “being Karens”.

              • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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                5 months ago

                … and that most men are guilty of. When we blame men’s suffering on toxic masculinity, we are referring to the toxic masculinity in the behavior of men, and therefore we are blaming men’s suffering on men’s behavior.