Feeling bad or like you did something wrong when someone didnt reciprocate isnt a matter of not knowing the neurotypical social handbook, although it might be contributing - its more, if I were to guess, a product of low self esteem and social anxiety.

Its not manipulation to figure out what people like and to share your interests, and part of the social grease to that is the annoying small talk like “how’s the weather, what do you do, what’s your major, do you have siblings, etc etc.” Its just one of those rules, you can find people who will break them and jump to deep interesting things but theyre just very very very rare (usually a blunt circle is involved lol). Often you’ve talked about being so locked up and terrified/socially anxious you have a hard time of even breaking in to small talk or any kind of talk. If you want, you can think about it like practice to getting to the deep things you’ve mentioned wanting to share and talk with others. Just keep going and keep talking and keep chatting with people at your groups, you will make a friend. I guess you also have to deal with this internal view of yourself you’ve mentioned quite often of seeming scary/creepy or unworthy in some way of being talked to - youre not unworthy.

You’ll find irl friends who will check in on you, its a marathon not a sprint.