I think a simple ‘i don’t want to talk about them’ might be best.

I didn’t attend my mother’s funeral or burial because I simply didn’t have the willpower to bear through all the lies and misconceptions I know everyone else was going to bear.

I didn’t want to make the days about how things went bad, all the many issues I took, or why I stopped talking to her in the past six months for being a MAGA sycophant.

Short of removing yourself from these situations, politely telling people to keep it to themselves is about the only reasonable thing I can suggest.