- cross-posted to:
- nonpolitical_memes@lemmy.ml
- cross-posted to:
- nonpolitical_memes@lemmy.ml
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“You’re not being sacked, no, we are releasing you into a world of opportunity!” Yes, a friend of mine actually heard that one a while ago when he was ‘let go’. 🤨
We would like to shift our structure to a more flexible model of management to accommodate for unforeseen market fluctuations.
So I am fired?
As I said we want to reschedule you indefinitely as our potential support asset. This pool is very prestigious and privileged position to be in.
So will I get paid?
As much as we would like to, truly, It is legally impossible for us to provide you with any funds outside of a legally binding contract which needs to be terminated in order to shift to a better state of financial buoyancy.
Corporations: never use 5 words when you can use 20. Obfuscation is the key.
I’m about to end employee 8675309’s whole career*.
As someone who was recently laid off, I can identify. I didn’t see it immediately, but was able to travel to Arizona to catch some spring training baseball with my son and brother. That was all I needed to bounce back. On Monday I start a new job at a healthier company making 25% more money.
Got the boot from a company.
Here’s the BS I had to deal with: -I was dealing with health issues when I was working. -My former coworker actively tried to make my condition worse. -I reported them for this to management & HR -Got fired, as they had friends in HR. -They filled out the unemployment paperwork wrong 4 times. -The unemployment case was so messed up, the local government got involved.
The positives. -Company deamed at fault and heavily scolded by the government. -I got paid more on unemployment than when working. -I make ~25% more at my new job.
That was ~2 years ago.
-I got paid more on unemployment than when working.
How did that one happen? That’s the unbelievable part to me - unemployment is basically capped to a percentage (usually 50%) of what you were making when working and vacation pay and partial pay (paychecks from part time work) etc any other non-gift pay also deduct or delay from how much you end up getting paid, at least where I live.
Unemployment counts the last 5 quarters. If you get fired before a quarter ends it doesn’t count it as a full quarter.
I left a different job making a lot more because of my health. I knew the manager at this new job and he saw I wanted a position that I was already in. Less hours, about the same pay.
When I was unemployed it counted the vacation I was reimbursed upon my leave from the previous company and the massive amount of overtime I was making from the previous job. If they would have fired me 4 days later, I would have been in the new quarter and gotten a lot less.
Go on, fire me, it won‘t unjizz the bathroom stalls.
If past.lives are real then every hr employee across the globe had a past life as some middle manag3mentnpaper.pusher making the Holocaust possible.
If you work in hr there’s about a 99℅ you are irredeemably evil.
Actually…
Most people doing their job quite literally are just doing their job, trying to make it to the end of the day. Believe me, even people in hr love their children, worry about the future, worry about their job, have hopes, fears and dreams and have to contend with shitty bosses.
Can you imagine one day the CEO coming in with a list of people that YOU have to fire, that YOU have to face, that will cry and yell in front of you as if you’re the one who did this to them?
Most people are pretty okay, actually, and not remotely evil. They might do bad things because they’re pressured or feel pressured, most people don’t enjoy firing others.
The HR person who works with my team actually said “I actually really like firing people. Well, that didn’t sound right… but I do like making these changes.”
ha ha ha… ok. Cool.
Yeah, be careful with people like that.
Just following orders.
I get your point, but in practice It’s not that easy. If you have a family that depends on you, you’d pmbe surprised what you’re willing to do not to lose your job.
Is this an actress, or am I missing a reference?
It looks like Anne Hathaway, who is a pretty well known actress. I think they just used her for the meme because of her smile.
I’d let her fire me all she wants
Oh sure, but if you look a little beyond the surface you’d see people who also just want to keep their jobs, just like you.
It’s easy to vilify those you don’t like, it’s hard to really look at them and see that they aren’t that different from us
Their job is to enforce the whims of the ownership class under threat of violence. They protect the company at all costs in exchange for power over other working class people and a bigger paycheck. Fuck them, if they really are decent people then they should quit and get a job that actually benefits society.
Okay but wanting to keep your job as a nurse at a charity clinic and wanting to keep your job as an IDF colonel are not the same.
You’re comparing an HR employee to a military officer? That’s apples and oranges right there.
But I’ll bite. Most military officers and enlisted are people too, you know. They got kids, they love and hate people too. Hell, even terrorists. Ones terrorist is another person’s liberation hero. I’m sure most IDF officers too mat have misgivings about the war they fight but when you’re in a military you don’t get to complain, especially during a war.
It’s easy to vilify people, it’s hard to see that each and everyone of us is a human being with hopes and fears.
I mean, maybe in the German SS, but I’m pretty sure every single “Israeli” SS officer gets off on the warcrimes. bad example.
also, intentionally do three (instances of-sometimes you blow up a hospital filled with orphans and POW’s in a secondary strike on a medic; happens to the best of us) warcrimes in a year, and the only reason you still count as human is for harvesting parts.
Yeah, but I’m good at my job and they aren’t.
Yeah that’s funny. Most people think they’re good at their job while in my experience,.moet are mediocre at best.
Not saying you’re mediocre, but let’s just say that I imagine me being less good at my job than I think, even with the raving reviews I got.
That ruins the brevity and wit of the joke.
That was the one good thing I did all week! I needed that. Those little points were holding up my house of cards. Only my toaster loves me!😭❤️⚡️💧
Naw, I’d be rich sitting on a beach somewhere sipping a Mai Tai if I was something above mediocre, or maybe I wouldn’t be because regardless of my skill level we live in an unfair capitalist society which rewards those who are the most willfully exploited and with the fewest morals. 🤷🏽♂️
Anyway, maybe we should leave the joke alone and not think that hard about it. K?
Except they have access to everyone’s salaries so they have greater bargaining power than we do. Not exactly the same as the average employee at a company.
May be so, but they’re still human, love their kids, have problems just like you and me, and most importantly, they too can lose their job. I can just as well say that since I oversee all tech in the company that I work for thst, technically, if I wanted, I could see everyone’s salary too. Doesn’t make me better or worse or different than you.
The point is that they have greater bargaining power than the average employee at a company, not that they aren’t human. I didn’t say they were better or worse than anyone.
Shit take. People that take HR jobs are that different than us. It’s like cops, the job only attracts the exact type of person that shouldn’t be doing that job.
Police officers actually don’t just attract bad people, they are specifically selected for it (in the US anyways, in other countries governments may actually care about that sort of thing though YMMV.
Same for human resources. I’ve known quite a few people working for HR and most are just people, lie you and me, doing a job they mostly like, but yeah, sometimes requires them to be in shitty situations that they didn’t envision before.
Based
