For me it’s driving while under the influence. If you couldn’t tell, I like me some ganja. However I have long since held the belief that it is utterly insane to drive while under the influence of most substances, with maybe nicotine and caffeine being the exception. All too often I see other stoners smoking and driving, which I simply can’t fathom. I’ve only operated a vehicle once under the influence and it was just to move a U-Haul around the block to a different parking spot, which was such a scary experience while high that I refuse to even consider getting behind the wheel again while high.
Car culture constantly being irreversibly intertwined with a bunch of right wing redneck bullshit. Its so pervasive that I have to actively avoid most social media car content because it will inevitably contain or be filled with comments of “FJB”, “cry about it liberal”, “Trump 2024”, and repeats of 500 anti gay/trans statements that have literally nothing to do with cars. And if I subscribe to any of it on a mainstream platform, my entire recommended feed instantly gets filled with a bunch of Andrew Tate chud sexism content and a constant barrage of other nazified political spam.
I’m here cause I like things on wheels with vroom engine, not your political pisstakes. Christ. I can barely even go to local car meets either because almost all of the boomers that gatekeep such events can’t get 3 words out of their mouth without jumping into a Great Replacement conspiracy. Fuck my life this hobby is a hellhole.
As a result I mostly keep to myself, drive my little shitboxes out in the forest, and work on a couple Goofy ahh engine swap projects without talking to anyone else.
And yes, I’m calling gonna call them a racist if they think the confederate flag belongs on the roof of an orange 1969 Dodge Charger (or on the front license plate cover of Generic Pickup Truck #99,412). I don’t give a shit that Dukes of Hazzard was a car culture classic. Get fucked lol.
I feel your pain, I’m a trans woman and cars and motorcycles have been my hobby since I was a teenager but I avoid most car meets like the plague. The import scene seems to be a lot better than the classic and muscle car scenes but there’s still a fair bit of right-wing bs. I do find it hilarious when I roll up somewhere in my classic jeep and notice some maga chud oogling it, the look on their faces when I step out is priceless.
Oh yeah I feel a weird version of this, ugh. See, I’m a big fan of going places and I like complicated mechanical toys and I guess I actually know a lot of deep down details about cars especially after a year or so stint doing car-related tech things, but I’m also an environmentalist who hates cars.
So, like, goofy engine swap projects, actually racing the damn sports car, actually taking the SUV off road to see something cool, details required to engineer a V12 sports car that doesn’t spin out, et al are all interesting to me but then literally everything to do with car culture seems like folks who are driving their super-fancy tuned vehicle in a traffic jam wasting gas spouting right wing BS.
This was explained to me as being a car person vs a “car person” by a friend who mentioned what giant douchebags car people are, in a group chat with her best friends who are extreme car nerds.
I know it’s getting into a sort of strawman/“No True Scotsman” realm, but I’ve definitely noticed it at a lot of car meets unfortunately. There are a lot of people who are very much attracted purely to the idea that “fast loud vroom car will make me attractive as a person”, and those tend to be the assholes who buy a $100k sports car that they won’t even take to a local autocross, and will use it solely to terrorize people in surrounding neighborhoods.
On the other hand, there are people who get excited seeing basically any interesting car. It doesn’t matter if it’s slow and cheap and isn’t flashy, it’s just a unique car and that should always be exciting to see.
My stepfather very much falls into the 1st category, and going to Woodward (absolutely massive car show/cruise in Detroit) was absolutely painful. He would shit on basically every car that went by, and on the rare occasion a flashy supercar drove by, would be like “I bet my car is just as fast”. He’s had multiple very nice sports cars, and I’ve invited him numerous times to autocross/track events, but he refuses it every time questioning why he’d want to. He’d much rather be an idiot doing 3x the speed limit on backroads than just take it to any one of the many nearby track events. Absolute numpty
I imagine going to a track for someone like your stepfather is a rather vulnerable experience. Odds are higher that he might run into someone with a better car than his compared to just toodling around back roads.
Oh, for sure. Likely, it’s not even going to be a “better” car, it’s going to be a much slower car, but with a better driver. That would be even more galling, to have his flashy sports car passed by some dude in a Miata.
Yeah, like, we’ve got a fairly nice sporty-ish sedan that’s approaching 300k and since we’ve only got one car we kinda have to be ready to buy a new one quickly, I’ve done some of the thought process based on our needs and where we are in life. And the thing is, I like a nice car but I’m unclear on exactly how nice of a car I would actually appreciate driving, given that I don’t like to die or hurt other people, so I’m not going to go 3x the speed limit on some backroad and have never gotten a speeding ticket just that the upgrade from a 1.8L engine ecomony-ish sedan to a 2.5L engine sporty-ish sedan did feel real nice.
Meanwhile, one in-law got a Porsche so another in-law on the same side of the family had to trade in his Audi SUV for roughly the same SUV on the Porsche side and it’s all some douchebag power fantasy.
But, yeah, I like seeing actual-car-persons nerd out because I know enough to get at what they are nerding out about. Joy is much funner than douchebaggery.
This is why I got OUT of the scene. It’s a car. Chill with all the hot takes bruh. I just want to have fun with people that know about cars.
That’s a really fascinating, if depressing insight. I’ve long wondered what it’s like for “normal” (nah, fuck it, just normal) people in subcultures with so much baggage.
Try being someone on the liberal side of the political spectrum who is primarily into the history and engineering of firearms, rather than the power fantasy of “gubmint and libruls better fear muh guns”.
It’s an absolute hellscape and it’s extremely disheartening to start talking with someone and sharing in a common interest, then seeing “FJB” and 1488 bumper stickers. I refuse to let bigots ruin my hobby though, and make an effort to make the hobby as inclusive as possible.
I also feel that being into planes. Lockheed Martin and the military industrial complex can get fucked, i just like it when they fly around and do cool stuff.
Sounds rotten :-(
It definitely sucks, but there are an increasing number of people like Ian of Forgotten Weapons getting people interested for the same reasons I am, really only getting into the politics from the historical or design perspectives, and always in a very objective manner. I’m also now in a far more liberal area and the local ranges are very inclusive, so that helps immensely.
same with motorcycles!
oh man, some “biker dudes” are the worst dude bros in all mankind. And it’s like they take pride in committing felony moving traffic violations…
I don’t know you, but I love you.
Check out the honda insight forum, they’re pretty chill over there.
I’ve got a few other places I can shoot shit with people who know some about my daily driver/project car maintenance and have largely avoided the bigoty shit, largely due to my low bullshit tolerance and gender identity lol
I love working on my car and taking it to meets and shows, but I have a hard time finding friends in the community for exactly this reason.
I have guns. I’m also super liberal. The amount of range patrons, employees or gun shops that talk unprompted about politics to me is disgusting. They just can’t understand there are liberal or left leaning gun owners.
I generally don’t get people like that. Starting a conversation with a stranger about polarizing topics like politics or religion is just high risk low benefit gamble.
I prefer to start conversations at the range with “ya ever tried riding a dick while high?” It really kickstarts things.
Rage stacking lol
Step 1: work less & join range Step 2: ask dudes about their preferred dildo manufacturers 2a. Wink wink, suggest tentacles
Especially when you know for a fact said stranger is armed.
Yup. Super off-putting. More than half of my local shops all have massive trump banners and associated ephemera along with some form of lib-bashing. Can’t be in that space for more than 5 minutes without hearing some fake news, racism, or mockery of some group. It’s really killing the sport for me. It never mattered when I first got into it, but the identity politics are destroying just enjoying a good day a the range.
It’s like they believe gun ownership is some kind of underground club that is impossible to be a part of unless your republican.
The “macho” attitude to safety. From soldering to woodworking. In soldering, there are fumes created when burning a substance called flux. There are commercial fumes extractors to purify and remove these fumes, but many refuse to use them, even if they’re cheap. Saying stuff like "What’s a little tree sap gonna do to me?. Chances are, none of them could run a mile due to the irritation of their lungs.
Another one is woodworking, especially around power tools. Table saws can shred your fingers before you can blink. It can pull extremities towards itself, and can launch wood fast enough to perforate organs. Yet there are still people who insist “I don’t need no push stick”, “don’t bother with a crosscut sled, just free hand it”.
For woodworking: Add the “old machines were soooo much safer,you need to use this 1968 Asshole-Wankerville saw if you realllllyyy want to have safety”(not true, especially when using planers) and the “if you don’t do it this way you should not be let close to a pencil!”(does it in an antiquated, overly complicated way that is safe but if you do one little thing wrong it isn’t anymore)-Gatekeepers.
Especially the whole story around saw-stop and how it was perceived by amateurs (even when they were unaffected by the manufacturers propaganda) is a shame.
Old machines can be good. Old machines can be a deathtrap. And things decay over time and something rotating with 30.000 RPM for 50 years close to someones groin/stomach maybe isn’t a risk someones should take lightly.
And most people who talk like this are old idiots who learned/teached themselves how to do things somewhere in the 70ies/80ies and then never developed after that. But they are so fucking sure about themselves.
I have an emergency medicine background, including some accident research. And even then people try to argue with me. “No,that kind of injury can never happen with this brand”. Idiot, I have seen it myself,talked to the person who nearly killed themselves, etc.
I was watching a woodworking video the other day. It was a dude in some third world country, using a tablesaw that looked like it was from the 60’s. No blade guards, no kickback fin, etc… Not even PPE like safety glasses or a push stick. And the dude was making cuts with only an inch or so between the fence and the blade, using his thumb to push the material through. I ran to the comments to see how many others had mentioned the fact that this dude needed to make himself a push stick.
The top comment was a dude complaining about “all these comments mentioning the lack of a push stick need to grow up. This dude obviously doesn’t need a push stick cuz he’s been doing this for years and knows how to stay safe without it.”
The dude in the video was missing two fingertips, clearly from previous accidents. He very obviously did need a push stick
I feel this way about angle grinders and seeing people using them without a guard or any safety equipment with their face inches away from a cutoff wheel they bought from harbor freight as they plunge it into a piece of steel.
Oh god,angle grinders,yeah… I have one, but I don’t use it in my workshop for obvious reasons.
The wife recently thought I had a stroke as I was screaming at the TV, because a show had invited an “expert” who was cutting some metal in front of the audience.
… Without ANY safety equipment on himself or the machine. … Heavily BENDING the disk.
… Someone is going to do this like on TV…and die…I was impressed that none of the audience died because that’s where the blade would have landed.
And I saw first hand was an angle grinder disk does to someones skull. It has the habit of stopping in a place that will not kill you. But leave you blind,deaf and dumb, suffering for a long time. They scare me. When I use mine, I am wearing full PPE, have a guard on the machine and still keep a tourniquet around.
It especially makes my blood boil when bosses do this. They frequently do because they don’t suffer the consequences but reap the gains.
If workers take a dangerous shortcut: increased productivity.
If workers get injured, they blame the worker for disregarding safety precautions. OSHA usually only steps in if safety equipment/practice is outright missing, not if workers are told to not use them.
Honestly you sound like you’ve three years in the industry and everyone but you is incompetent, especially the ones been at it forever.
It especially sucks how that attitude will trickle down and erode the safety practices for everyone. Depending on what and where you’re learning, you can potentially end up knee deep in hazards before you even know what you’re supposed to be avoiding.
I’m an apprentice bench jeweler and the common practices in this industry are fucked. There’s a container of actual asbestos that we pack around stones to insulate them for a weld. I was looking for a good method for affixing tiny parts for welds and everyone says just superglue it, since the glue burns off and doesn’t contaminate the weld. It just depolymerizes into highly irritating gases, and benches are fucking NEVER properly ventilated. There’s oxydizers we use weekly that say “only open outdoors” on the container.
A good respirator is a great investment, pretty much no matter your industry.
Motorcycle riders not wearing a helmet be like
Warhammer, we’re here to play with over priced miniatures, don’t be a Natzi.
One of my hobbies is the social deduction game Blood on the Clocktower. Heavy social deduction games will draw certain types of people. Many of the people are very nice and inclusive. Others not so much.
I just played a game with a new group the other night - games usually take about 90 minutes in my experience. These people are all about playing super optimally rather than having fun. I made a sub-optimal play as an evil character, solely to create chaos. This led to mass confusion toward the end of the game. When my play was revealed at the end, people were literally yelling at me.
No one cared that it worked, and evil won, and that I completely followed the rules. I just did something no one would expect because I knew it would cause confusion. Some people take all the fun out of the game.
Well that sucks. My favourite moment in a hidden role game was when a player won by misreading their card and convincing both of us that we were allies at the start. They ended up the only evil player for most of the game and then in the last round after we’d worked together to systematically kill everyone else (all weirdly innocents, we were both feeling guilty by this point), when they finally realised they knew there was no evil player they checked and… killed me. Total madness and a glorious victory for them. How can you be mad at that?!
Jesus, what a bunch of freaks those people sound.
I mean, set aside that you outsmarted them with an unexpected move, but, oh no, you mean the evil side didn’t do things by the book?? Who’da thunk it?
Even my own team was pissed at me because my move was super risky. But because I could see the way people were expecting optimal play, I figured it would work in our favor.
One person said, “WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO FUCKING STUPID? YOU THREW YOUR OWN TEAM UNDER THE BUS”
Yeah, but it worked cuz nobody expected anybody would do such a crazy move.
Exactly - really glad it worked out, especially if that’s how the others are going to react! :-)
This is really dumb imo (the other people). My friend and I both like to be agents of chaos sometimes, so when we play Secret Hitler it’s a nightmare because even if we’re not on the same team we just cause so much mayhem and have everyone doubting everything. Isn’t the fun in the chaos and confusion???
In most social deduction games, the point of the minority team is to create confusion, since they have all the information. The majority team is trying to deduce roles, so they benefit from players who telegraph their strategy.
I’ve got quite the game collection, and that kind of competitive behavior annoys the hell out of me.
If I’m learning a game, I stumble along, take my turns, and figure out how everything works as we go through the process. I don’t expect to win, and if I do, it’s probably because I got some lucky rolls/draws.
I have a few friends/family that get angry when they aren’t winning, and nothing pisses me off during a game more than that.
Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with getting frustrated with a bad draw, or when someone has the perfect counter in their hand, but, if your enjoyment of the game is solely determined by how much you’re winning, you’re ruining it for everyone else and you aren’t getting invited to the next game night.
Yeah. Even my own team was pissed at me. I took a risky move that worked out in the end because I used their weakness against them. That’s part of the reason that BotC is so much better than many social deduction games - it’s often not entirely solvable, even with optimal play. And just let people have fun sometimes, who cares about making the “objectively best decision” at all times.
Chaos moves are so much fun.
When a friend and I play Coup (hidden role card game), we’ll typically start out playing normally - especially if there are new players - but as things progress, we get into “advanced” strategies. We might not look at our cards at all, and publicly proclaim it, such that nobody can possibly know if we’re BSing or not - since we don’t know ourselves.
My old group loved to do a few blind rounds of coup after we were ready to move onto another game. Made for chaos and great fun for everyone. That was usually our warm up game - still waiting for people to show up, maybe snacks were still being prepared, Hosts walking the dog, etc.
But of course, first round, EVERYONE is a Duke.
Looks like evil won and then some. ‘evil laugh’.
My nerd herd play this game too, the usual suspects are getting to the point where I worry that will be the problem. Right now the main irritation are meme accusations. 2 players dont trust eachother even if prove they are on the same team.
Lieing about being someones grandmother and randomly guessing a role (and getting it right) has ended multiple games. Its gotten to the point we have to just treat some people as agents of chaos even if they arnt on the evil team. Its still very fun and most people get a laugh out of a good play.
I turned the spent fisherman in between the vigor and assassin into the empath in my game. Not a single person believed the spent fish would suddenly get a 2 empath reading. They got read as a minion panicking in final three when the raven keeper was on the block lol.
I was pretty proud of the psych out play.
My recent claim to fame from this past weeks game, winning our groups first psychopath script. I got to play Patrick Bateman and didnt do anything for 3 turns (Our GM kept calling me crazy) because my demon (the Al-hadihkia) handed me the flower girl as a bluff. Convinced the town fool, who had validated their role worked in front of everyone, that I was above board and proceded to axe the philosopher on the last day to win the game for the evil team. The fool still owes me a beer or sandwich.
I used to play a lot of TTT (for those who don’t know, think Among Us, but its an FPS where anyone can shoot anyone else) and this is what ruined it for me. In the rare occasions where I could get together a group of friends, it was fine, but any attempt to play online was just endless squabbles. Everyone was constantly whining about if X peice of evidence was ligitimate enough to act on, and God-forbid anyone do anything that actually broke a rule, regardless of how fun or funny.
I used to play that with friends, but I knew playing with randoms would be toxic. Glad to know I didn’t miss an opportunity lol
This is why I get anxious playing with new groups, especially because if I draw a token that let’s me try something out of left field, I can rarely resist going for it. Thankfully, so far everyone has been really excellent, but it takes me a while to slip in and get comfortable
Unplanned amputations.
I’m a woodworker.
Table saws are serious shit.
Have a coworker who taught me all he knows bout woodworking.
Have heard way too many times “X is for pussies”. Saw guards, riving knives, splitters. “Real men use Radial Arm Saws.”
Is that why you lost function in 3 of your fingers? To prove you are a real man? Well slap my ass, and call me Sally because I like having all my fingers.
Carpenter here. I used to get called a pussy by the old dudes all the time. Maybe Jethro, but I’ve been doing this as long as you have and I have all my fingers still and you can only count to 8 if you take off a shoe.
you can only count to 8 if you take off a shoe.
lol I love this. I wonder if they lost 7 fingers, or some combination of fingers and toes.
I think it means they lost 3 or more fingers
But if they took off a shoe with 3 missing fingers they could count to 12! 😛
And is stupid enough to need fingers to get to ten.
That’s actually a perfect retort “You’re such a pussy using the guard Zagami!” “Really Jethro? Do me a favor, take your shoe off and count to ten.”
A razor sharp 10 inch circular saw blade being spun at 5,500 RPM by an 18 amp motor doesn’t care how manly you are.
I worked in a woodshop for a bit too. The story I told new kids is that the band saw a was originally used in butchershops to cut beef sides till a woodworker thought it would make a nifty hobby tool. And that saw wants nothing more than to explore it’s roots and get back to its raison d’être of slicing meat into more manageable sized chunks. And you better believe that table saw over there isn’t going to be shown up by some hobby tool.
The band saw is deceptively safe. It’s a fairly quiet and gentle sounding tool, it doesn’t push back on you like a circular saw does, it won’t kick back, it’s too easy to stop being scared of it.
It does.
Because if it’s low enough it can change it very easily (and potentially for the rest of your life)
Fingers are INTEGRAL. Sapphic safety 101
Woodworking hobbyist with an emergency medicine background who worked in a replantation centre for a while: I can absolutely confirm this.
And table saws are amongst the most harmless devices in an average workshop.
I saw some gnarly shit over the years and tbh, I had some near miss cases as well on my own. (like when a milling head died on my DIY CNC and flew through the workshop - close enough to my jugular vein to graze my skin. 5mm to the right and I would have been in a very very bad spot)
And table saws are amongst the most harmless devices in an average workshop.
You have my attention with that line. I’m used to thinking of the table saw as the most likely amputator of my shop. What in your experience is the bigger maiming hazard?
In absolute numbers the table saw will win because everyone has one. But they can be used in a safe way - with a sliding carriage, a push stick and a cover or even a saw stop(even though that is a ridiculous shitshow on my side of the pond)you have a near 0% chance of hurting yourself. That is different for a lot of other machines. They can hurt you even if you do things right but are unlucky.
Band saws are far more likely to hurt someone and old planes are inherently unsafe as their spindles often are designed in a way that they often easily send their blades towards their operators. Especially when they are older models. And of course mortisers - I saw some really really gnarly shit over the years, e.g. someone who lost control of their mortiser when hitting an knothole and then the machine went towards his groin - still running as he panicked and did squeeze the handle even stronger by reflex. In the end the half groin area was bloody pulp he injured a major vessel that nearly killed him. A friend of mine collapsed (due to a medical issue) on a table mortiser and missed the blade by less than 2cm. With a table saw he would have simply collapsed on the cover, here it was pure luck.
Wow that’s nearly opposite of what I’ve always heard. Like I’ve never really heard of mortising machines being particularly dangerous. We’re talking the specialized cousin of the drill press, right? Like I don’t know how to “lose control” of a Mortising machine.
I’ve actually seen more injuries at the drill press; bits like to grab sheet metal and spin it right at belly level, give you the first half of a tummy tuck.
I feel much safer using a band saw because it won’t kick back on me or generate adverse forces, I guess they’re fairly quiet and affable that you forget it’s a saw until you start dropping phalanges. Table saws can get ornery.
Or does “your side of the pond” mean you’re European and you’re referring to different tools than I am? Like in America a “plane” is a hand tool., and my thickness planer would struggle to throw its very well encased knives at anyone.
So I’m super involved in my local bdsm community and it’s probably my main hobby. There’s a lot less misogyny than people not in the community think and a lot more than many of the men of the community think.
A lot of guys take that dom/sub dynamic too far, as an extension of misogynist beliefs. Agreed re: your evaluation.
It’s also pretty sad - you’re in the most permissive time in history for this stuff, someone is giving you a gift that (carefully approached) can let you live out your deepest sexual desires to everyone’s satisfaction, and you’re going to treat the person giving you that gift as actually lesser!? For fuck sakes man, not too long ago you’d be thrown in a psych ward for this shit.
That shit’s a problem for sure, but often the community weeds out dominant men who mistreat submissive women. That’s not to say we don’t have broken stairs and whatnot, I run a women’s group, it’s a problem for sure. But in my experience that aggressive of misogyny in such contexts is far more present in online spaces than reputable irl ones.
The area I see it most manifested is in the way dominant women are treated by men, both dominant and submissive. There are dominant men who love and respect submissive women but just struggle to treat dominant women as their equals. And on the flip side a lot of men who submit to women have a lot of hang ups about it and many treat them as sex objects.
There’s also still a problem with people assuming men are dominant (especially if they’re charismatic and/or handsome) and that women are submissive (especially if they’re small, shy, or feminine).
At least that’s what I’ve noticed as a woman who submits to women
Thanks for clarifying. I can’t say I’ve personally seen that to any great degree, but to be fair my experience was more of a toe dip. I can certainly see that being the case.
Yeah there’s definitely a thing where a local community in a good state doesn’t have as much of it, (though it will often exist) but when things get disrupted more can seep through. It’s been on my mind lately as I’ve been befriending a Domme that’s very new to all of this and her experiences are really elucidating the patterns I’ve seen glimpses of, but thought were more of online problems.
I practice BDSM occasionally and i recently did a scene with someone. There were times where boundaries were accidentally crossed, but my reaction to that was an immediate “are you ok and do you need to stop”. Luckily the person was very understanding and actually discovered some stuff they liked, but I simply cannot fathom trying to take advantage of someone who is giving you so much already. I didn’t like nor enjoy that I had accidentally transgressed on boundaries, and am working to ensure that it doesn’t happen again, but the priority is and should always be safety and comfort.
The good thing is, you’re most people - looking for all parties to have fun within the boundaries of safety and participant comfort. Topping is a huge responsibility, and you had the correct reaction.
But just like in the everyday world, there are abusive people out there. Folks, particularly bottoms who are still fleshing out their boundaries, can be vulnerable to these people. My opinion is that situation can be made more complicated due to the taboo nature of the interaction and unique social norms that have a learning curve (ex: what happens if you’re newer, someone starts spewing ‘true dom/true sub’ crap early on, and that sets your expectations for BDSM?).
Captain Lez is bang on when saying this is the value of a community for vetting and feedback re: what you’re doing. But again, like in everyday life, people can ingratiate themselves into that community as a means of cover.
It really isn’t all that different from abusive relationships in every other context, just with an additional layer of sensation and social norms that can cloud judgement/mask the abuse.
Will say OP made great points on misogyny in this world expressed in less aggressive ways, and heck, even this conversation underscores it. People like you and me jump right to guys in a dom role disregarding the boundaries of women in a sub role, for reasons of hating women. We’re not those people, most of the people we meet in this context aren’t those people, and the few we become aware of are usually blacklisted pretty quick, so we think misogyny is not a major problem in the community. The stated dynamics between some Doms and Dommes, and male bottoms to their Dommes, challenges that. I may not have come across it simply because I am a guy who doesn’t feel that way, my community is very much female-led, and everyone I met was pretty respectful/darned greatful a community existed at all, but I can definitely see it being a thing.
Thank you for your kind words. I get a lil scared domming sometimes because as a victim of sexual assault, i would never want to out someone through that. I’m glad the community seems to be doing better than the majority of society.
I find this one especially egregious because as a fellow practitioner, my first priority is safety, safety, safety. i hate to see the bigotry and lack or respect
Gatekeeping and acting like you’re smarter than everyone else… General neckbeard behavior. Linux/Computers in general can be a great hobby if you can get past the “RTFM, yoUr stUPiD fOR asKing” people.
I work with Linux and computers professionally. Documentation is written but almost nobody reads it. I can’t count the number of times I’ve bailed out colleagues stuck on a problem by spending a few hours reading the docs and then like magic some parameter in the API solves everything. I’ve been bailed out countless times in the same way. Software and computers are complex and even those who do RTFM miss things, because documentation is information dense, often written as an afterthought to the code, and APIs are not always even internally consistent with the documentation.
But the toxicity culture around that needs to go. I love it when people geek out over distro-hopping and whatnot, but superiority complexes over what distro you use (“Arch, btw I’m so much better than you”) is fucking stupid.
Imo, a lot of linux documentation and documentation in general is written in a way that assumes you know what it’s talking about… When it’s the documentation’s job to teach you about said things…
This has been my struggle. I read the documentation before posting to linux groups. And even saying that you just get “wHaT r U sToOpId!? rTfM aGaIn!” Like just rereading it will magically reveal terms that I didn’t understand the first 3 times. I gave up on trying to switch to linux.
I think my last straw was I was talking about establishing an SFTP server in OpenBSD (I know, unix not linux, don’t bother; same kinds of people in both) and I had a typo in my question and it was a very benign unimportant typo and some pedantic fuckwad had a mental fucking breakdown because he was now confused if I really wanted SFTP or FTP and how FTP was insecure blah blah…the whole thread was about setting up SFTP wtf would you think that changed in the middle because I forgot the S on SFTP in the middle of a discussion on setting up SFTP. Too many pedantics in the community and even when I like software I don’t want to be associated/involved with that level of unempathetic autistic assholery.
Yeah, those are the exact kind of people I’m referring to. They are annoying, however not “I hate this hobby now, fck it all” annoying, to me anyways. And Idk if it’s just me, but I’ve encountered less of them here on lemmy than on smth like reddit, even when I’ve asked stupid questions.
I work in gamedev and its really baffling how rare is for someone to read the docs. I’ve already solved so many issues by just reading through the related docs and discovering a feature that does exactly the thing we’ve been trying to solve with a workaround, or had a overcomplicated process for doing, while it could have been a single function/API call.
Read the docs people! You probably have a lot of downtime while waiting for stuff to build/compile, and just rabdomly (or systematically) scrolling through the reference or docs of the library/tool your working with, even when not looking for something specific, may save you a lot of time in the long run. Knowing what are your tools capable off is well worth the effort.
There are a lot of cosplay elitists, that think you need to be a supermodel or look exactly like the character to cosplay them. Bruh, this is about creating art of our favorite Fandoms. I’m allowed to make sexy versions of characters, people are allowed to cosplay characters of different ethnicities as long as there’s no blackface, people can make costumes of anyone, even if they don’t know every bit of info from the source material. Let people have fun… this isn’t about you and all your gatekeeping is doing, is stopping you from having awesome and talented friends.
Huh, I guess I’ve somehow avoided those jerks
My experience is a very inclusive atmosphere. Everyone I’ve met is interested in talking about the source material, or construction techniques, or just wanting to express their love for the character. Yeah sure, Iron Man looks more “real” if the guy looks like RDJ, but Sexy Iron Man gets just as much of my admiration if the metallic finish is great and the LEDs are poppin
It may be because I do cosplay erotica for a living, so people assume I’m doing it for money or attention. I do love when they try to gatekeep me and I know more about the Fandom than they expected. These costumes are EXPENSIVE to make, so I’m not going to waste my time and money on something I don’t love.
For the more “masculine” ones, say video games and roleplaying games, really wish guys were less fucking rude to me or even just ignoring me. Or also lovely is me suggesting an idea, ignoring me, then agreeing when someone else takes it and suggests it.
Some people online are oddly hostile about American recipes using cups/tablespoons? I do a lot of baking, so much I do have a scale, but that’s extremely uncommon here. Most cup recipes are fine. Even weighed recipes need tweaking sometimes.
Knitting is a solo hobby because oh man old ladies can be really weird about what yarn you use or needles you use or even why you’re knitting so young. I was 30 when they were saying this. Sure, younger than them but???
For the first point, does it help if the person repeating it acknowledges that they were just repeating what you said? I find that in conversations in general sometimes people don’t get heard so I try to repeat what they said so it can be heard but I always try to start along the lines of “Going back to what you said…”.
For the other two I completely understand and I think it’s just a weird form of gatekeeping.
It’s not as bad when it’s started with like, “I agree with x” or “What if we did what x said but with <insert thing here>” or something, sure. They usually don’t though, almost never. And then everyone at the table acts as if the person who said it came up with it and it’s infuriating.
Edit - I might not be clear. The person suggesting the idea I had is generally not boosting it so it’s heard, they are generally acting as if they came up with it, and then everyone suddenly realizes it’s a good idea coming from a guy instead. When it’s someone realizing the idea wasn’t heard, they usually don’t do that.
I can only imagine how frustrating that must be. I’m sorry that a lot of men are probably subconsciously really shitty and just don’t have the care and self awareness to do anything about that.
I am just, constantly in awe of how toxic the fiber arts community can be
Like friends
We are making lovely comfort items, random decor, stuffies and just like, silly shit WHY ARE YOU SCREECHING AT ONE ANOTHER
Hence me going to exactly 1 stitch n bitch ever and then quietly doing crochet in my house forever more
Yeah and the elitism. Like I am knitting for a friend’s baby no freaking way am I going to make it with a silk merino blend when I know my friend can only machine wash and tumble dry clothes… And that was before they had a tiny human. Some of the local groups were up in arms that I used ACRYLICS quell horror but dude I make kids toys and they literally drag my toys through a mud bath and three years later it’s still in one piece and loved. I do have the budget now for the nicer stuff but when I started out, not so much. And you know what a silk is nice but sometimes… I want a shitty fluffy machine washable plush yarn. Fiber people gotta chill and remember at the end of the day we are playing with sticks and string. Be nice.
The problem with cups and tbsp/tsp is that it varies between sets of spoons.
100g is 100g no matter what. And I don’t need to look for the damn spoons all the time, I can just mix the ingredients by weight directly into the bowl.
Not just that, when I moved out of my parents’ place or out on my own from a roommate situation all I ever needed was my scale. I didn’t have to buy wet measuring cups, dry measuring cups, measuring spoons and what have you filling my drawers and cupboards with inaccurate nonsense.
I also have ultra accurate versions of a couple of my friends’ grandparents’ recipes. Turns out just a dash of this and a dash of that was amounting to up to 50 grams of extra corn flour or whatever. If you can get someone to participate in giving you a recipe you can really just recreate it with zero guesswork.
I like to play Magic the Gathering. I also won’t play with randos at local game shops because more often than not they’re socially awkward, outright rude and act like 30 year old children if a game doesn’t go how they want, or they fucking reek. You can find actual normal people who play the game, but the amount of fucking weirdos way outnumbers then, to the point where going to events is not an option for me anymore.
D&D and RPGs in general. There’s a lot of loud opinions on what other people are doing.
Yeah, go ahead Simon - teach me the right way to pretend I’m an elf.
DnD is definitely one of those hobbies where each table is different and (as long as no one is being hurt) none of them are wrong. The toxicity some people bring to the table can scare away newer people entirely and that sucks for everyone. Less DnD people means we all get to play less DnD.
Queer TTRPG circles on the west coast got this fixed. I can never go back to playing in Completely straight TTRPG culture. Queer TTRPG tables will be like “Can I be a Merperson Paladin of like… Everything spiritual simultaneously and just have to fluidly sync with the nearest divinity while my hyper intelligent mouse sidekick who dresses in a Sherlock Holmes outfit causes random trouble? Oh and can the mermish language be a sign language? " and 9/10 times the answer is " FUCK YEAH! That’s rad! Do you want your mouse to have a tiny magnifying glass?”
Compare that with the grognards telling me sign languages are prohibited because they are " too much of an advantage" and I am just ruined.
I recommend trying to find chill roleplay heavy groups. The tables i ran were never explicitly queer but we were open to anyone who wanted to come and have fun. It was helped by the fact that the regulars at the table would roleplay in character super heavily, but never take themselves too seriously, so it always just ends in stupid shenanigans where everyone’s laughing.
We once had a young kid (<10) at the table with their guardian and when they got the final hit on a difficult encounter the entire table erupted in cheers.
Thinking new people are stupid for asking the same questions they asked 3 years ago. My hobby is every hobby.
well put. “New people don’t know enough” shouldn’t be a surprise, and yet here we are. Online forums should have a FAQ, at least (many do but not all).
Oh, I got one! The hobby is browsing advice subs. The fucked up practice is just how common and easy it is for some people to tell a complete fucking stranger to end a relationship. People are disgusting. I remember way back when Reddit told me to leave my now-wife of ten years because she had the unforgivable condition of… depression 💀 and I still see this shit every single day. OP reported some choice words? Break up. OP isn’t sure? Break up. OP loves them but their partner blah blah blah? Break up. Every valley too low, every mountain too high, no relationship can work out to a Redditor. The fucking gall of these people to constantly be telling complete strangers to make a major life altering decision, and how flippantly they do it… it just pisses me off. They don’t know a damn thing about “red flags”.
So many bedroom audio producers are all about having the latest and greatest gear, and then don’t make shit beyond a tech demo or two. There’s nothing wrong with that I suppose. It just seems a bit odd to me to collect a pile of expensive, useful tools, and then not even use them.
Or not even know how to use them. I remember one guy in particular. He had a $10000 Moog One, and used it to make a piece of music where he held an A minor chord for 20 minutes. There was almost no modulation or movement at all. Just the same chord for twenty minutes. I like outre music, but come on!
There’s also a lot of snake oil in the hobbyist/personal hi-fi audio world. I’m a professional audio tech for live events. A lot of people don’t understand how audio works, and why audio gear is built a specific way. So they’re susceptible to bad faith sales tactics, which are oftentimes inventing problems that never existed before the product was being marketed. Or claiming to use manufacturing materials/processes that won’t make a difference on a physics level, but will make a difference in cost to the end user.
Hi-fi audio is a world of diminishing returns. A $1000 system will sound great compared to a $500 system. A $5000 system will sound a little better than a $1000 system. But a $10,000 system will only sound marginally better than the $5000 system, and many people won’t even be able to tell the difference between the two. Or to rephrase, they’ll be able to tell a difference between the two, but won’t be able to tell which one is the “better” system. They’ll simply hear the difference in speaker frequency responses.
Also, that classic rock song you’re critiquing on your $30,000 living room sound system was performed and mixed by people who couldn’t hear fucking anything. Their hearing was shot years before the song was recorded, by decades of crowd noise and stage monitors.
Also, their music sounds the way it does because the band got really drunk one night, spilled beer on the amp and it caught fire, and after that it had a really cool sound.
This one upsets me a lil because I occasionally record the music I write, and recording off a Scarlett Solo is not the easiest experience, especially when I’m only using the that came with it (aside from like my own amps and instrument specific gear).
I wouldn’t know what to do with a lot of the expensive gear, but I could do something with it and get some genuine use out of it for my music. But at the same time I don’t wanna fall into the same trap, so I only buy gear that I need when I need it, and that’s usually stuff for my instruments themselves.
I hear you. A buddy gave me a $1000 headphone amp he’d replaced with a newer version. It’s the most expensive piece of gear I own and hilariously out of place in my set up. I still use it, though.
Hey that sounds pretty nice! Thats the nice thing about sharing hobbies with friends
I just wish he’d gotten tired of his Moog Grandmother. Haha!
I’ve recently started putting together a home studio and made the mistake of asking online what I should consider before painting my monitors. Nearly half of the people who responded said, “Don’t do it, it’ll ruin the resale value.” Like dude, I’m not here to be on a god damned gear treadmill. I’m here to make music. Gear is just a necessary evil to me and if I never have to buy monitors again I would be so happy. So, If I can get some extra joy out of them and make them mine, I’m gonna.
Hear hear. I’ve been using the same cheapo Mackie CR4 monitors for nearly a decade now. It’s not like a $1000 pair is going to sound much better in my room without a bunch of baffling or whatever.
With some people it feels like their more gear collectors than producers. Though I gotta admit there where times where I bought a piece of equipment that was kinda outside the scope of what I needed because I thought it was nice to have.
We all get the GAS sometimes.
