Beheading kings.
Trebuchets, which btw are far superior to catapults.
That’s not cool man…
They said medieval, that is way too late.
I dunno, that was invented to make beheadings more humane…let’s go back to an axe.
Fucking castles, duh
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as a basis for a system of government.
Strange woman here, anyone knows where I can buy swords in bulk, preferably with a pond thrown in? It’s for… a personal project.
Are we to believe that famous actress Margot Robbie doesn’t have some sort of connection for bulk medieval weaponry?
I am shocked and dismayed.
Have you tried your local Swords 'R Us? I hear there’s a July 4 blowout sale this week. Use promo code Pond50 for half of your pond!
something something ‘watery tart’ something.
You know how to kill any party? Start quoting Monty Python.
He’s being oppressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system!
Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
You sound like a moistened bint to me. Care to decree some governmental officials while you’re here?
What has Monty Python ever done for us?
The woman = Amy Coney Barrett
The pond = DC swamp
The sword = Official acts
Royal beheadings
As somebody who lives in a kingdom, yes! Fucking parasites!
Thailand? Or the UK?
Netherlands. Thailand and Morocco are even worse I guess. There, you’ll get punished harshly for beinig openly anti-monarchy. I feel sorry for those countries.
Thailand’s King is something else. Here’s a photo of him being picked up for his coronation.
I don’t know much about the Netherland’s laws other then you can loose or get your driver’s license restricted if you’re diagnosed with Autism
Inns, especially if they’ve got an enormous pot of perpetual stew, and people are giving out quests.
That sounds an awful lot like restaurants and jobs…
Yes, but tavern wenches are assumed to be included.
Those are just called lot lizards now.
I can’t believe I just got my CLP and no part of my study material told me or warned me about this term.
There was perpetual stew?
Still is, according to legend
Inns like that existed during the enlightenment up through the invention of the railroad. In the medieval era you slept in a church or maybe someone’s home.
Inns existed in large cities during the medieval period.
Winter
Our leaders fighting in the wars they start.
You wanted it… go fucking get it cowards.
Imagine a king fighting his own battle, wouldn’t that be a sight…
On Sep 7, 1944, a group of American pilots was tasked with bombing a radio tower at Chichijima Island in the Pacific theater. The Japanese resistance was strong, and many American planes were shot down. Eight pilots managed to parachute to the ground safely but were caught by the Japanese.
The Japanese military tortured them and then brutally executed them, in at least one case forcing the prisoner to dig his own grave before killing him. After the prisoners were executed, the Japanese cannibalized them, not due to lack of rations but to show “fighting spirit”.
A ninth pilot parachuted away that day. The Japanese sent small boats out to try to capture him, but American airplanes arrived to force the Japanese boats back. The pilot was swimming in the open ocean far from any nearby ships when an American submarine suddenly breached the water in front of him and rescued him.
That pilot then went on to become the 41st President of the United States.
they should also sport appropriate codpieces to match their raging egos
Hell yeah! Modern leaders are fucking cowards. Don’t start a war if you’re not going to fight in it yourself!
Hey tbf at least here in the States these guys are reaching their 80s…
Peasant uprisings, to take down the kings of today.
Medieval peasant uprisings were inevitably put down and the perpetrators brutally massacred, and also their families.
The first successful uprisings weren’t until the 1800s.
Let’s do an EU4 Dithmarschen world conquest run from here on out.
be the change you want to see in the world
Guillotines.
That wasn’t really a thing in medieval times. I’m afraid an axe will have to do.
It’s okay, we’re getting rid of history lessons too!
Trebuchet?
Of course! It’s the superior siege engine.
Imagine using this for execution
Especially when you could hold a vote, letting the people decide the method. One option: yeet the person from the trebuchet. The second: yeet something at them from a trebuchet!
Bring outchyo
deadvote!!Yeet a person at this person from a trebuchet!
First used in ancient China around IV century BC.
We can get tripantium though, advanced evolution of it invented in XIII century France.
It was an instrument used by the burghers in bringing about the end of European feudal lordship, replacing the feudal mode of production with the capitalist one.
And the billionaires will be the first to try it out!
This might fit in mediaeval times, with the earliest possible recorded use in the 13th century, but it’s certainly not well-known until the early modern period and most famous right on the border between early and late modern.
Sic semper tyrranis
It goes Yah
y’all qaeda had those on Jan6. They can have 'em.
Samurai sword. But, probably they all have those as well.
Perpetual stew, good architecture, and no Twitter
I just really like walking around eating giant turkey legs.
This has never been forbidden.
Guillotines obviously.
guillotines are renaissance era.
Giant shirtless executioners then, I guess.
I’ll take the entrails of a priest.
See, that kind of back talk puts you first in line for the period-inaccurate execution.
Coinciding (by happenstance no doubt) with the fall of monarchies.
Does it matter if they are meant specifically for the ruling class?
.