Expecting your partner to read your mind is not the way to have a healthy relationship. When you’re with a good partner, you should be comfortable enough to address your problems with them or ask for a shoulder to cry on as needed.
Of course it’s nice if a partner notices and inquires. Your problems are your own to tackle though.
Edit:: It’s specifically the acting different because they’re in a bad mood that I was referencing. If you’re in a bad enough mood that your partner notices but you haven’t been honest about why, it’s not on your partner to sus that out. It’s on you.
Again, this tweet says nothing about mind reading. It says nothing about closing off to your partner. It says nothing about expecting them to pick up on it.
All it is saying. ALL it is saying, is they want an empathetic partner, not an entitled child for a partner.
Interesting how ya’ll read the absolute worst into things…
The entire tweet is about expecting a partner to ask “why” instead of getting upset when OP is in a bad mood and acting different without saying why they’re acting that way.
Nowhere in the tweet does it say anything about any type of mood. Literally all it says is that they’ve been quiet all day, which could be the result of any number of things, including, but not limited to, having had a long day, having expended too much energy at work or simply just being tired. Maybe they’re overstimulated and just need to not talk for a while. Having a partner who gets mad at you for “being different” instead of asking why you are being quiet and treating you with empathy is, in fact, toxic.
Why? What makes being silent unhealthy? This sounds like you’re imposing your own personal ideas about healthy behavior on everyone. My partner and I frequently don’t speak to each other at all for the day after an intense workweek because we simply need to recover and that’s what works for us. Tis actually the healthiest way for us to connect after a tough day to be in silence together. We’ve been married for over a decade at this point. I have had past relationships where the exact situation in the tweet occurs and it was always devastating to be told I’m “acting different” or that something is wrong with me instead of being asked how I am doing or why I’m being quiet.
And it seems to me that that is also what the tweet is saying. I don’t see any difference between what the tweeter wants and what my spouse and I have.
Edit to add: You came out swinging stating that this tweet is categorically unhealthy, and then arguing your point by reading “silent” as “bad mood” which is not in any way implied by the tweet. All the tweeter wants is a partner whose response to a change in behavior is curiosity/concern/empathy instead of anger/blame.
The tweet says nothing about stonewalling anyone. Being quiet isn’t stonewalling. It’s being quiet.
It only says they want a partner that cares ‘why’. That says absolutely nothing about how and when a conversation might happen.
They want a partner that reacts with empathy, not entitlement to your person.
Expecting your partner to read your mind is not the way to have a healthy relationship. When you’re with a good partner, you should be comfortable enough to address your problems with them or ask for a shoulder to cry on as needed.
Of course it’s nice if a partner notices and inquires. Your problems are your own to tackle though.
Edit:: It’s specifically the acting different because they’re in a bad mood that I was referencing. If you’re in a bad enough mood that your partner notices but you haven’t been honest about why, it’s not on your partner to sus that out. It’s on you.
Again, this tweet says nothing about mind reading. It says nothing about closing off to your partner. It says nothing about expecting them to pick up on it.
All it is saying. ALL it is saying, is they want an empathetic partner, not an entitled child for a partner.
Interesting how ya’ll read the absolute worst into things…
The entire tweet is about expecting a partner to ask “why” instead of getting upset when OP is in a bad mood and acting different without saying why they’re acting that way.
Nowhere in the tweet does it say anything about any type of mood. Literally all it says is that they’ve been quiet all day, which could be the result of any number of things, including, but not limited to, having had a long day, having expended too much energy at work or simply just being tired. Maybe they’re overstimulated and just need to not talk for a while. Having a partner who gets mad at you for “being different” instead of asking why you are being quiet and treating you with empathy is, in fact, toxic.
If my partner is quiet all day and not speaking to me until I ask why, that’s not healthy.
Why? What makes being silent unhealthy? This sounds like you’re imposing your own personal ideas about healthy behavior on everyone. My partner and I frequently don’t speak to each other at all for the day after an intense workweek because we simply need to recover and that’s what works for us. Tis actually the healthiest way for us to connect after a tough day to be in silence together. We’ve been married for over a decade at this point. I have had past relationships where the exact situation in the tweet occurs and it was always devastating to be told I’m “acting different” or that something is wrong with me instead of being asked how I am doing or why I’m being quiet.
But you’re not giving your partner the silent treatment until they notice you’re in a bad mood and ask “why?”
Each couple can have their own things, that’s totally cool and healthy.
It’s the unspoken expectations that I have an issue with.
And it seems to me that that is also what the tweet is saying. I don’t see any difference between what the tweeter wants and what my spouse and I have.
Edit to add: You came out swinging stating that this tweet is categorically unhealthy, and then arguing your point by reading “silent” as “bad mood” which is not in any way implied by the tweet. All the tweeter wants is a partner whose response to a change in behavior is curiosity/concern/empathy instead of anger/blame.