So I thought I had figured myself till now. But I was clearly wrong…

So the last few days have been incredibly confusing as I reflected on my gender identity. I’m definitely a boy, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t want to go by any pronouns except he/him. The they/she stuff simply isn’t me.

I don’t want to dress up in a feminine manner (I don’t think I would be comfortable in skirts and thigh highs and what not…). Like… I haven’t tried that yet, but I really doubt I would be much interested in it. I like my current wardrobe.

HOWEVER, I want a feminine-ish body. Like… not boobs or anything. I find boobs quite repulsive. BUT I would definitely love to have a more feminine butt/dick. I like tucking, WHILE loving my dick.

I hate body hair/facial hair. The only place that I like hair on is my head. And while my hair is long-ish, it isn’t girl-like long. Like… the intention is not to look like a girl.

I dunno, it’s weird I suppose… Here’s one way to put it. If estrogen didn’t give me boobs, I would LOVE to take it. I would love to have a higher voice, better head-hair, and a girlier butt and dick. BUT I would still identify as a male while being in male-like clothes.

What the hell am I? I’m definitely not trans. I don’t think I’m a femboy, as I would hate doing makeup/wearing skirts n stuff. I’m so confused.

Oh, and I’m gay if that’s relevant.

  • Paraponera_clavata@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    7 months ago

    Sounds like you’re a regular person with thoughts and preferences for how your body looks, like all people. Don’t think it’s about being trans, sorry to disappoint. Just my 2 cents though.

    • UraniumBlazer@lemm.eeOPEnglish
      2·
      7 months ago

      Oh yeah, I’m definitely not trans for sure. About the rest, I dunno… Like… Do my male friends think stuff like this too?

      • snooggums@midwest.socialEnglish
        2·
        7 months ago

        Some might, others don’t. The important thing is that with the billions of people on the planet there are plenty of other people who do.

        You are not alone.

        • UraniumBlazer@lemm.eeOPEnglish
          0·
          7 months ago

          Yeah, but is there a name for ppl like myself? The nbs have their communities, the trans ppl have their communities. What community do I join to explore this more? This is why I am interested in seeing if there is a category in which I belong so that information about this can be formalised a little more.

          • SwingingTheLamp@midwest.socialEnglish
            1·
            7 months ago

            This might be terminally Gen-X of me and Dan, but I’ll paraphrase what he said in Savage Love several years ago: It’s unwieldy to slice&dice gender and sexual expression into ever-smaller, narrower categories. Not every permutation needs a name and a flag. We can just be cis-men with non-stereotypical behavior or aesthetic preferences.

        • snooggums@midwest.socialEnglish
          1·
          7 months ago

          Cis guys are taught to be uncomfortable with feminine things.

          Glam rock is a blatant example that men can be feminine and over the top masculine at the same time.

  • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    3·
    7 months ago

    You might be non-binary, keep in mind you can still use he/him while being non-binary. Gender has no rules, be whoever you want and use whatever pronouns feel best.

    • UraniumBlazer@lemm.eeOPEnglish
      1·
      7 months ago

      Wow, I wasn’t aware of this!!! That sounds liberating honestly… I’m definitely gonna be exploring what being nb means now…

      • Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.worldEnglish
        1·
        7 months ago

        Generally we use Enby or Non-binary since NB is used to mean Non-Black which is more of a POC thing.

        But there’s no harm in a little self exploration. Non-binary is generally under the trans umbrella since the general meaning of trans has to do with not feeling like body and gender are aligned. Agender for instance is still not aligned with the physical sex of a person so someone who hold that they have no gender, fluid gender or multiple genders are still trans… but there are people in our communities who feel like the word trans doesn’t resonate and they identify as non-trans non-binary. Sometimes the more loose term “genderqueer” is applied to mean this type of the middle ground. There’s a flag and everything.

        Btw the whole voice thing has more to do with vocal training than estrogen. Estrogen doesn’t actually change your voice. If you want to get started “Voice Feminization training” is where to start. https://youtu.be/BfCS01MkbIY?si=cs_FxCA13ZwkNoNI Hairless faces are also not an estrogen thing. That is usually achieved via electrolysis or laser hair removal… It takes a while to achieve but the hair lightens by degrees.

        There are also cosmetic surgeries to enhance certain features without relying on horomones to do the job for you. These things are generally stigmatized by wider society but it is an option for a more targeted transition.

        Estrogen will change your metabolism and fat distribution to be more in line with phenotypic female presentation but looking beyond sex as a binary you start seeing that there are plenty of phenotypic female folk out there without big butts, belly folds or boobs. Genderqueerness is all about mix and match, doing what you want. The tech is there for everyone who wants it.