So I thought I had figured myself till now. But I was clearly wrong…
So the last few days have been incredibly confusing as I reflected on my gender identity. I’m definitely a boy, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t want to go by any pronouns except he/him. The they/she stuff simply isn’t me.
I don’t want to dress up in a feminine manner (I don’t think I would be comfortable in skirts and thigh highs and what not…). Like… I haven’t tried that yet, but I really doubt I would be much interested in it. I like my current wardrobe.
HOWEVER, I want a feminine-ish body. Like… not boobs or anything. I find boobs quite repulsive. BUT I would definitely love to have a more feminine butt/dick. I like tucking, WHILE loving my dick.
I hate body hair/facial hair. The only place that I like hair on is my head. And while my hair is long-ish, it isn’t girl-like long. Like… the intention is not to look like a girl.
I dunno, it’s weird I suppose… Here’s one way to put it. If estrogen didn’t give me boobs, I would LOVE to take it. I would love to have a higher voice, better head-hair, and a girlier butt and dick. BUT I would still identify as a male while being in male-like clothes.
What the hell am I? I’m definitely not trans. I don’t think I’m a femboy, as I would hate doing makeup/wearing skirts n stuff. I’m so confused.
Oh, and I’m gay if that’s relevant.
Sounds like you’re a regular person with thoughts and preferences for how your body looks, like all people. Don’t think it’s about being trans, sorry to disappoint. Just my 2 cents though.
Oh yeah, I’m definitely not trans for sure. About the rest, I dunno… Like… Do my male friends think stuff like this too?
Some might, others don’t. The important thing is that with the billions of people on the planet there are plenty of other people who do.
You are not alone.
Yeah, but is there a name for ppl like myself? The nbs have their communities, the trans ppl have their communities. What community do I join to explore this more? This is why I am interested in seeing if there is a category in which I belong so that information about this can be formalised a little more.
This might be terminally Gen-X of me and Dan, but I’ll paraphrase what he said in Savage Love several years ago: It’s unwieldy to slice&dice gender and sexual expression into ever-smaller, narrower categories. Not every permutation needs a name and a flag. We can just be cis-men with non-stereotypical behavior or aesthetic preferences.