- cross-posted to:
- news@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- news@lemmy.world
I wanna see people like ‘Big Balls,’ or Ed, as we call him colloquially.
My name is Sir Donut Fucker Vibrating Butt Plug III but my friends call me John
I look at things like this and figure that is why Im having a hard time finding work.
You have morals and ethics. It’s a lot easier to make money without them
yeah you get this question about a difficult time and I have this story about someone being so crazy with timelines that they were going to do this really illegal thing and how I talked to the boss to talk to them and stopped it. Im starting to think that puts me on the no way list.
Every single one of them need lengthy prison sentences. “Just following Elon’s instructions” should not be an adequate defense.
What about the guy who was giving the instructions?
Sorry, rich people don’t have to follow laws. Better luck next time, poor people!

lmao what is this from
I believe it’s from The Nice Guys, definitely worth a watch if you haven’t yet.
He looks like someone with very small balls tbh
Well projecting is their mo
How is this projecting?
Good. I hope he spills everything on Elon.
He will be Epsteined before that happens.
Probably too old
I think they mean magic suicided, not child raped
There is a reason they got a stupid naive kid to do their dirty work. He is the fall guy they can blame, and yes, if he spills the beans he will fall out of a window, or something or that nature.
Elon is happy, all the investigations against his companies have been stopped fully.
Window is Russia.
In the US, people shoot themselves in the back of the head.
I doubt this kid even has any dirt on Elon.
He was a stupid true believer who thought someone had finally recognized the genius he thinks he is and now its time for him to be hung out to dry.
In the US, people shoot themselves in the back of the head.Multiple times with their hands and feet tied up.
Did they not realize they would always be the fall guys?
Does someone who calls themself “Big Balls” strike you as intelligent?
No, they thought they were the cyberpunk hackers going against the evil government and they are all cool and underground and shit (even if they had the backing of the most powerful man in the country and the richest man on earth).
They’re a bunch rich nepobabies who have failed upwards their whole life (as an example Swollen Testicles here is the heir to Lesser Evil snacks), they probably viewed this as yet another “smash and grab” corporate looting to use as a step up to their next jobs. I’m honestly skeptical that they’ll end up as fall guys, after all the Trump administration has shown that crime is legal as long as you’ve got a R next to your name.
as an example Swollen Testicles here is the heir to Lesser Evil snacks
Well that’s irritating. Some of their popcorn is delicious.
I should have trusted my logic that a company called “Lesser Evil” is still admitting it’s evil, its main selling point being “Our competition is more-er evil” …
…presupposing that “Not evil” simply isn’t an option in our socioeconomic system. Because of course.
“You should never grade Evils, because if one is the worst, you might be tempted kinship with the least.”

People don’t think it is like it is. But it do . Sure reality has edge cases and exeptions… but yeee
I’ve used that exact same Saltzpyre quote on Lemmy a few times too! NICE!
Even though he’s a bit of a puritanical parody, that quote hits profoundly hard. Hi five. :)
“We can’t take on MOM’S! They are big and evil, While we are small and… Neutral.”
No, no they did not. They thought Daddy Musk and Daddy Trump would always be there for them.

I’m sorry I’m gonna need a name and link. If you have a .torrent that would simplify things
It’s always the ones you expect the most.
Nacy Pelosi
He and the rest of his cronies should die in prison after a long, unhappy life.
I don’t want to wait that long to drink Baja Blast from their skulls
A long and unhappy life in prison to clarify.
This is why you always want to get law enforcement credentials before doing fascist errands. Law enforcement gets qualified immunity; civilian contractors are patsies.
Qualified immunity means that cops are protected from being personally targeted for civil lawsuits.
Oh, law enforcement ends up being above the law in many cases. For example, tinting on windshields in California. Cops get 100%, everyone else has to follow certain % rules so cops can feel safe during traffic stops. This is just a minor example.
The effective immunity they de facto enjoy is MUCH more complete, though.
For every cop shooting where the cop suffers so much as an unpaid suspension, there’s dozens if not hundreds that get off scot free after committing all crimes up to and including serial murder.
They also can own pretty much any kind of firmarm in any state without any regulation.
I don’t disagree, I was just correcting the wrong use of a term.
His father is Charles Coristine, who bought the snack company LesserEvil in 2011 and runs it as chief executive. His maternal grandfather was Valery Martynov, a KGB lieutenant colonel who spied for the FBI and CIA in the 1980s and was executed in Moscow in 1987 after Aldrich Ames and Robert Hanssen betrayed him. Coristine has said on Fox News that his grandfather “died so that I could come here and live in this free country that I love so much.”
Jesus Christ, no wonder his politics are fucked.
LesserEvil? As in the popcorn with avocado oil seen in many health food stores? What?
Yup. I boycott that brand hard and I tell everyone I know to stay away from it.
Geeze, TIL.
I really hate that every cent we spend that doesn’t go to like, struggling indie artists we enjoy, goes straight into the pockets of people actively obsessed with making our existence miserable.
Dang. It’s really good popcorn. Why couldn’t he buy a worse brand…
Right? This is more like classic Nestlé behavior.
I love(/s) how mask-off Fox is now. "Former KGB double-agent lineage put into high places of government when people still remember the Red Scare? Fiiiiine! Look he’s so
rich🇺🇸🗽🦅🏈pAtRiOtIc. . .. . .REMEMBER WHEN OBAMA WORE A TAN SUIT THO AND MAMDANI HANDED SOMEONE A PEN?! THE OUTRAGE!! Shariah law! Immigrants! Reeee!!" [mouth foaming intensifies]
It feels like 50’s-80’s Republicans, still-evil as they were, would eat these bitches alive. LOL
As much as they screech about slippery slopes, it seems conservatism is the ultimate one. What vague notion of principles they might have had, erodes astonishingly quickly as soon as money and vulnerable children are dangled in front of them.
An opposition that lacks any kind of consistency doesn’t deserve even the slightest respect.
His grandfather was a double traitor who only cared for personal gain and money. He got what was coming to him.
Meanwhile he is following in his grandfather’s footsteps by being a complete parasite and sack of shit to the country he lives in.
His grandfather sounds based as fuck, I actually wonder how he turned out this way.
EDIT: Ya’ll Tankies downvoting? I’ll say it again. Fuck the USSR, they’re no different than what MAGA aspires to be.
He spied on the US and the USSR. He was not some principled ideology. His ideological and moral compass only pointed towards money and nothing else.
He was sent by the USSR, made deals with the FBI and CIA, moved his family to the states and was executed by the KGB for spying on the USSR.
Sounds like the ultimate redemption arc. We should all aspire to be so strong of will against tyranny.
Clearly he couldn’t pass off the tiniest bit of it to his son and grandson before he died, sadly.
MAGA…USSR…
Incompetent Party Oligarchs in palaces and bread/gas-lines for everyone else 🤝
Can hardly wait for the De-Trumpinization on the same level as De-Stalinization.
I’m doubtful after 2020, that it will happen.
Already are
Only a self-deluded accelerationist would think this is the bottom. It goes much lower than this.
Please explain
The pitts of the Stalin regime held twice the percentage of incarcerated, multiple famines, no real elections, widespread war, etc. The USA isn’t there yet but it will be.
The number of people the USA currently has in prison far outpaces the height of the gulag system in absolute numbers and percentage of the population. If you want to talk about famines you can check out how the USA treated indigenous people. To be frank, Stalin was small time compared to the USA, whether you’re talking historically or currently.
Shit apples don’t fall far from the shit tree.
Damn straight Mr. Lahey
thanks Randy
Well damn, his gramps sounds amazing.
Charge him then. Fucking fascist twerp.
Throw him to the Sarlacc
The poor sarlacc will spit him out because he is so vile…
“Exposed to” is not “charged with”
There very well could be Grand Juries seated in those states to do just that. You & I won’t know until it happens.
Every time I see a picture of him, I think “Big Balls” must be one of those ironic nicknames.
I remember some actual military veteran explaining that they almost never give the toughest fighters badass nicknames. You can kid around with guys with nicknames like ‘Big Balls’ or ‘Killer’ but run away from the guy they call ‘Kitten’ or ‘Candy.’
If the handful of veterans that I know are anything to go by, military nicknames are often directly related to the dumbest mistake they made during their enlistment.
A guy I knew said there was a guy he knew in the service who got the name “Stitch.”
Oh cool, like, a medic or something?
Nah, he slipped and banged his dome on a bathroom sink so bad he needed stitches. 😂
It Runs the gamut. Some people get nicknames for skills, some for mistakes, and Others for the Most obscure reasons.
Not a Veteran myself, but a civilian who used to Work in defense. The Nickname Stories are Always fascinating though.
Did you spill soda on your shift key?
probably just helpful spell check. it capitalizes inappropriate words for me all the fucking time. don’t know why I haven’t bothered to turn it off
Might be a non-english main language on the spellchecker. The german keyboard on my phone also wants to capitalize everything that might be a noun.
German Phone XD.
You win the thread! I would habe answered sooner but DB WiFi…
I bet that he actually has big balls, but because of Chlamydia.
Just remembered Nicki Minaj’s tweet which sent Trinidads health organizations onto a wild goose chase because she linked her STD-ridden guy to the COVID vaccine.
It’s his chosen name, his birth name is Tiny Testicles.
I mean he looks like he’s still in 7th grade, so it checks out imo.
Huge balls, tiny little pud
RELATIVELY BIG BALLS.














