Edit: alt-text: Reddit post in r/TrueOffMyChest

Title: my friend just transitioned but I found out she’s naming herself Mildred. I wanna be supportive but, fucking Mildred?

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    • Frozengyro@lemmy.world
      31·
      3 days ago

      But first, let’s discuss the right and wrong trans wrongs.

      The right trans wrongs: coming from a place of deep respect for you as a friend, Mildred is not the right name for you

      The wrong trans wrongs: how many American conservatives ready trans individuals

      • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
        742·
        3 days ago

        Oh sure, I bet your Great Grandma is a lovely person and I have nothing against her or her name.

        But, it is very much a GREAT GRANDMA sort of name that is super out of date. I would be exactly as critical as a parent naming their child Mildred.

        • blackbrook@mander.xyz
          16·
          3 days ago

          This generational. I’ve seen a number of names I thought of as grandma names come back into fashion. People who are young enough not to have experienced grandmas with those names pick them. Gertrude is a grandma name to me, BTW, not a great-grandma name. I actually had a grandma named Gertrude. Welcome to old. (Edit: my brain glitched from Mildred to Gertrude there. Looking forward to Alzheimers.)

            • VelvetStorm@lemmy.world
              1·
              3 days ago

              Edith Cranwinkle, chair person of the art crawl! Maybe you’re not such a horrible, greasy, perverted, shabby, two - bit, filthy, disgusting pig, Bob!

          • Apathy Tree@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
            2·
            3 days ago

            I low-key hope Agnes doesn’t come back… that’s my middle name… can’t stand it. I know it was my great grandmothers name, but I never met the woman… and it just feels… harsh. (Probs because I only heard it when I was in trouble, or when people were making fun of me)

            Plus side, my mom got talked out of naming me “Elsbeth”, which is a very very defunct precursor to Elizabeth (which she didn’t like)… Since frozen with Elsa, that probably would have been ok, but it didn’t come out until I was in my checks release very late 20s, by which point the damage would have been done.

            But hey I can’t complain too much on the naming lottery… my sister has a fully 100% boys name. Her middle name is a French version of Patrick.

            • VelvetStorm@lemmy.world
              2·
              3 days ago

              I wish my middle name Shay (its the name i go by)would come back or be a thing for men. I’ve only ever met 2 other people in my age range with it, and both were women, and the one person outside of my age range was an old old old woman. I dislike my first name to such a large extent that I choose to go by Shay.

              • Apathy Tree@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
                11·
                3 days ago

                I feel your pain. I wish I had a better first name or middle name to go by but I’m stuck between a shit place and a shitter place. And none of the nicknames I tried to get assigned actually worked out for me so… I either get nicknames I hate as much as the name itself or nothing. Super fun!

                And if you want to change names, holy fuck, best of luck!

                At least you have something you can relate to? I have never met anyone, of any gender, named Shay. I know that doesn’t necessarily help… but… it’s definitely not something I’d (as a solid middle age sort of person) consider a gendered name. Not more so than Aaron/Erin or any other neutral name…

                • VelvetStorm@lemmy.world
                  2·
                  3 days ago

                  When you meet new people just tell them whatever name you prefer even if it’s not your name. 2ish years ago, I started going by Shay by just telling people that. But there were people who have always known me by my other name, but I just told them I always hated that name, so call me Shay, and I gently corrected them every time they called me by my other name. The only people who still call me by me og name is my wife and my girlfriend(poly relationship not cheating), but they are working on it.

    • Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world
      411·
      3 days ago

      I throw no shade on Mildred… As long as she’s one of those girls who like dress in 1950’s fashions and is way too into electroswing.

      Then it’s only fitting.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
      301·
      3 days ago

      As a trans woman, fuck yeah Mildred. Take that awful name and make it your own. Sure you could’ve been a Megan or a Maria or even a McKenzie, but anyone could pull those off. You chose Mildred to flex on us plebs

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
          7·
          3 days ago

          So many of us have a ridiculous name. I kept mine to my middle name, but so many don’t, so I can just fully embrace someone deciding she’s talking great grandma’s name and damn the consequences

          • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
            5·
            2 days ago

            I actually sort of am the opposite! Growing up my deadname had an unusual spelling. It was literally immposible for someone to spell it correctly on their first attempt. So every form filled out on my behalf had to be corrected, everytime my name was called there would be a double checking moment who I am. It was just a huge giant pain in the ass and even as a kid I knew I would change it, even for non trans reasons. So my chosen name is much more basic, it’s actually one of the most popular names for my birth year.

            I can’t tell ya what a sigh of relief I give off when a cashier asks my name and just spells it correctly without giving it thought. that I can say who I am and people just… know that it’s the person on the forum. So y’all are 10,000,000% valid and I love your damn the consequences vibes! But for me? I’m so happy with my basic simple unremarkable name.

            • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
              2·
              2 days ago

              I get that, unfortunately my hard to spell name is my last name and I liked it too much to change it. I also didn’t realize that my common name has so many spellings, but by fuck do a lot of people insist on proving that. I also just like having a name that doesn’t instantly draw people’s attention, especially since my last name does.

              My middle name on the other hand is fucking ridiculous, but it’s easy to spell so there’s that.

      • barsoap@lemm.ee
        5·
        2 days ago

        Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
        Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
          But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
          And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore?”
        This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!”—
               Merely this and nothing more.

      • rektdeckard@lemmy.world
        3·
        2 days ago

        Lol, Edith and Mildred are literally my grandmothers’ names. Edith is a badass and just turned 99.

      • pyre@lemmy.world
        61·
        2 days ago

        cishet dude here so i dunno how much what I’m about to say matters but I’ve always liked the name Eleanor(e) because The Practice is my favorite procedural series and in that show Eleanor was a badass woman with strong convictions and morals.

        she also was in one of the coolest scenes in tv imo, having a very heated argument entirely in sign language. here’s an unfortunately terrible recording of it: https://youtu.be/CwV9dHHQj-8

        anyway i think Eleanore is a cool name, but more than that, once people associate it with you that’s what they will think about when they hear the name, the kind of person you are. not the other way around.

  • vonxylofon@lemmy.world
    331·
    2 days ago

    Damn right. If I transitioned, I wouldn’t take a lame name like Mildred. I’d go for something cool like Radicalorange or Forcefulblue.

  • yemmly@lemmy.world
    1202·
    3 days ago

    I wanna be supportive but, fucking Mildred?

    Engaging in sexual intercourse with Mildred is perfectly fine as long as there is mutual consent. However, it is not required. Kind words are usually sufficient.

  • robocall@lemmy.world
    36·
    3 days ago

    I knew an old lady that has since died, her first name was Mildred. She went by her middle name because even when she was a kid, Mildred was perceived as an unattractive name.

    • Hackworth@lemmy.worldEnglish
      101·
      3 days ago

      Mildreds out here, tryin ta take ‘Mildred’ back, and y’all throwin shade like people ain’t have to live with dumbass fuckin names like Mildred. Leave Mildreds alone! They’ve got enough to deal with. Wait, they chose Mildred, like as an adult? In the present? Pfft.

  • VelvetStorm@lemmy.world
    414·
    3 days ago

    I’ve noticed a trend with trans women picking the stupidest names, and idk why. Like I kinda get Mildred because it’s a classic name and has a cute nickname. So it stands to reason maybe she has a family member that was a huge influence on her so she wants to honor her with that name but why the fuck do people pick names like Lola.

  • pastabatman@lemmy.world
    53·
    3 days ago

    When I was in school the kids with the weird names were either picked on or they were super cool and popular. Their parents had no idea which one they were going to be when they chose the name.

    Your friend has the benefit of knowing who she is already. If she knows she’s going rock it, then go Mildred.

    • Etterra@lemmy.world
      111·
      3 days ago

      You’re usually fine if you’ve got a biblically significant name. Many of those have staying power. Adam, Joshua, David, Samuel, Michael, Rebecca, John, Mary, Paul, etc. not all of them work though, and it varies by culture. “Jesus” is really coming in Spanish but almost unheard of in English (American POV).

      • Alatain@lemmy.world
        21·
        3 days ago

        That is a bit of a selection bias. What you are effectively saying is “the biblical names that have survived to today have staying power”.

        But even that isn’t true here as almost all of the names you cite are significantly different now than their original forms. Looking at your list we have Yeshua, Shemuel, Mikael, Rivka, Yohanan, Miriam, and Paulus. Adam is mostly the same, as is David (with a bit of an accent difference), but the rest didn’t exactly emerge as they were.

    • Excrubulent@slrpnk.netEnglish
      18·
      3 days ago

      It’s called the 100-year rule.

      All the common names we grew up with were retro to our parents, and names we think are just so boomer are probably going to be our grandkids’ names.

    • ThatOrangeBird@lemmy.ca
      16·
      3 days ago

      Looks like it. Names like Eleanor, Hazel, Lillian, Ellie and even Millie are in the top 100 baby names this year, and a couple of them are in the top 20 in the U.S.

    • PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee
      101·
      3 days ago

      I mean I want to name my first son Abe, but that’s because it was my grandfather’s americanized name (Ibrahim)

      I think some geriatric sounding names are still respectable sounding enough to stand as good names for kids today. Dot and Conny I think would be good ones for girls and those are nicknames for Dorothy and Constance.

  • Aremel@lemmy.world
    65·
    3 days ago

    I gotta agree with the post. Millie would be a cute alternative Mildred. The name reminds me of mildew.

  • Marleyinoc@lemmy.world
    271·
    3 days ago

    Maybe it’s the meaning. Just looked it up: Mildred means “gentle strength.” I’m warming up to it.

  • f4hy@lemmy.world
    394·
    3 days ago

    I 100% support people to transition. I don’t think people should get to pick their own names without any veto.